Written by Gena Gordon, MSW There’s something a lot of people have never said out loud. A quiet belief that their body is a problem. That wanting things is dangerous. That pleasure, when it finally shows up, comes with guilt that was already there long before anything even happened. If you grew up in a high control religious community, you probably already know what religious sexual shame feels like in the body. It’s the voice that starts talking before you’ve even done anything. The flinching. The freezing. The feeling that intimacy is less about connection and more about crossing a line you were taught you should never cross. Religious sexual shame is the deep belief that your sexuality is wrong, dirty, or sinful. These messages often get learned early through church teachings, family expectations, and community pressure that may have looked like love while still causing harm. What many people are never told is that shame doesn’t stay at church. It follows you. It can shape your relationships, your connection to your body, and your ability to experience closeness, desire, or pleasure without fear or guilt attached to it. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we offer inclusive, sex positive therapy for adults across many identities, orientations, and relationship styles. That includes people healing from purity culture, fundamentalist upbringings, and high control religious environments where shame was often presented as faith. If you are trying to rebuild trust with yourself, reconnect with your body, or separate intimacy from fear and guilt, this space is for you. Understanding Religious Sexual Shame Religious sexual shame is the belief that your sexuality, desires, or body are somehow wrong, dirty, dangerous, or sinful. It often develops in religious environments where sex is heavily controlled, feared, or tied to morality and worth, though religious traditions and cultural communities vary widely in what they teach about sexuality; some are more open, while others enforce strict rules that can create shame when sexual desires conflict with those teachings. For many people, it starts young. Through sermons, purity culture, family expectations, youth groups, or unspoken rules, people learn that desire should be hidden, questioned, or punished. Over time, those messages can become internalized, even long after someone leaves the religious environment they grew up in. Religious sexual shame can show up in everyday life in ways people do not always recognize right away. It can look like guilt after intimacy, fear around pleasure, anxiety about being “too much,” difficulty connecting to your body, or feeling emotionally unsafe during sex or relationships. Some people experience flinching, freezing, dissociation, low desire, or a constant feeling that they are doing something wrong even when they are safe and consenting. The difficult part is that shame often lives deeper than logic. Someone can fully disagree with the beliefs they were taught and still feel the emotional and physical impact of them years later. Healing from religious sexual shame is not about becoming a different person. For many people, it is about learning how to feel safe in their own body again, reconnect with desire without fear, and build relationships that are rooted in consent, trust, and self acceptance instead of shame. Roots: Purity Culture, Religious Upbringing, And Childhood Experiences The seeds of sexual shame are often planted so early that most people cannot even name when it started. It just feels like it has always been there. Do some of these experiences feel familiar? Being told masturbation was sinful or feeling shame and guilt about that sex act. Going to purity pledge events or being given a purity ring. Hearing that premarital sex makes someone “damaged,” “used,” or less worthy of love. Being taught that your body was a temptation to others and needed to be hidden or controlled. Receiving little to no sex education beyond “don’t do it,” with shame-based messages that later shape sexual behavior and sexual feelings. Watching someone get publicly shamed for a perceived sexual mistake. Being told your same sex attraction was sinful, broken, or something you needed to pray away. And then there were the object lessons and metaphors: The chewed piece of gum. The crumpled flower. The tape that loses its stickiness. These messages were often taught as lessons about purity, sometimes even with good intentions. But what many people actually learned from a young age, as young people absorbed early lessons about human sexuality, was this: your value was tied to what you did or did not do with your body. Religious Trauma And Religious Trauma Syndrome Not everyone who grew up in a religious household experienced trauma. But a significant number of people did, and for a long time, there wasn't even language to describe it. Religious trauma refers to the psychological harm caused by harmful religious experiences: coercive or high-control environments, spiritual abuse, shunning, and the long-term internalization of shame-based doctrine. It's not just having had a conservative upbringing. It's being genuinely hurt by religion in ways that leave lasting emotional, relational, and physical marks, and those traumatic experiences can include sexual harm or sexual trauma, and in some cases sexual assault. Religious Trauma Syndrome is a concept developed by psychologist Dr. Marlene Winell. It describes the prolonged stress response that develops in people who have left harmful religious environments. Think of it as a kind of complex PTSD specific to spiritual harm. Symptoms include difficulty thinking independently, emotional volatility, social isolation, a loss of identity, identity confusion, and a disorienting confusion about values and meaning once the scaffolding of religion is removed. This can especially affect women and LGBTQ+ people, including around sexual orientation. The connection between religious trauma and intimacy isn't subtle. When sex has been framed as the ultimate danger to your soul, your standing in community, and your relationship with God, the nervous system does exactly what it was designed to do. It learns to treat sexual desire as a genuine threat, which can show up as low desire, hypervigilance, guilt, shame, disconnection from the physical body, and real strain on sexual health and relationships. That wiring doesn't automatically undo when circumstances change. Without skilled, intentional support, it persists and quietly shapes how you approach touch, vulnerability, pleasure, and partnership for years, sometimes decades. Common PTSD Symptoms And Mental Health Manifestations One of the most disorienting parts of healing from religious sexual shame is realizing that what you thought was just "how you are" is actually a trauma response. Some sexual problems can look like relationship issues on the surface but are rooted in sexual anxiety and shame, which is often where working with a sex therapist can be especially helpful. Many adults carry symptoms they've never connected to their religious history. Dissociation is that floating, checked-out feeling during intimacy, as if you're watching yourself from a distance rather than actually present in your own body. This is also known as spectatoring. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing mental content that shows up uninvited during or after sexual experiences. Religious imagery. Shame spirals. The sensation that someone is watching and disapproving. Hypervigilance keeps the body stuck in threat-detection mode, scanning for danger, unable to fully relax. Physiologically, pleasure requires safety signals. If your nervous system was never taught to send them, relaxation becomes nearly impossible. Sexual dysfunction can include pain during sex, difficulty with arousal or orgasm, erectile dysfunction, or a persistent numbness with no clear medical explanation. Low desire can also coexist with sexual urges and sexual attraction, which may be hard to interpret after shame-based conditioning. When the body has been conditioned to fear its own desire, it finds ways to shut that desire down. None of this is a character flaw. None of it means you're permanently damaged. These patterns can affect romantic relationships and communication with romantic partners about sexual needs. These are the entirely predictable outputs of a nervous system that learned to protect you the only way it knew how. And nervous systems can learn new things. Impact On Relationships And Sexual Function Religious sexual shame doesn't stay contained inside you. It can shape later sexual encounters in ways that can be hard to recognize until someone points them out. Avoidance is often the most visible pattern. Ghosting relationships before they become physical, finding endless reasons to stay single, shutting down conversations about sex, or feeling a wave of dread instead of excitement as intimacy approaches. Some people avoid naming sexual concerns at all because even saying them out loud feels threatening. Avoidance brings short-term relief while reinforcing the belief underneath it: that sex is dangerous and that desire is something to manage rather than meet. Lowered desire and arousal can be deeply confusing, especially when you genuinely want to want. When a nervous system has been conditioned to associate arousal with guilt or spiritual danger, desire becomes genuinely hard to access. Some people wonder if they might be asexual, and they might be. But some have been so thoroughly shut down that they can't yet tell the difference between an orientation and a survival response. That distinction is worth exploring carefully. Consent and boundary confusion shows up in ways people often don't initially link to their religious history. If you were raised to believe your body belonged to God, your future spouse, or your faith community rather than to yourself, identifying and communicating your own desires and limits becomes genuinely difficult. Some people also lose touch with their own sexuality or struggle to tell what reflects their own thoughts versus old conditioning. This can look like habitual compliance, an inability to say no, people-pleasing in intimate situations, or the opposite: rigid walls that feel safer than any vulnerability at all. Overcoming Sexual Shame: Therapy Goals And Outcomes Healing from religious sexual shame doesn't mean arriving at some predetermined version of "liberated sexuality." There's no finish line that looks the same for everyone, and therapy isn't about prescribing what your sexuality should become. It's about clearing enough space for you to actually find out, including how to explore one's sexuality without forcing a specific outcome. That said, there are clear goals that guide the work. Safety comes first. Before anything else, therapy establishes a relationship and an internal environment where difficult material can be approached without flooding. You can't heal what you can't hold long enough to look at. Autonomy is the foundation. Rebuilding the genuine belief that your body belongs to you, not to a theology, not to a partner, not to what your community expects, is not a small thing. Reclaiming that agency can also support healthier sexual expression that aligns with your values. For many people, it's genuinely revolutionary. Choice is autonomy in action. It's the ability to make conscious, values-aligned decisions about your sexual life rather than operating from old programming, avoidance, obligation, or fear. Pleasure reclamation is where things start to feel genuinely hopeful. Many clients are surprised to discover, somewhere in the therapeutic process, that pleasure isn't just permissible but possible. Accessible. Even, eventually, welcome. Over time, clients may gradually reconnect with sexual pleasure and experience pleasure with less fear and self-consciousness. That shift doesn't happen overnight. But it does happen. Self Compassion, Mindfulness, And Reconnection If there’s one thing that moves the needle more than almost anything else in this work, it’s self compassion. Not the surface level version or forced affirmations, but a steady, practiced way of treating yourself with the same care you’d offer someone you love who is hurting. Therapeutic self compassion work helps you notice the inner critic and patterns of self-criticism, often shaped by earlier religious or authority voices. You learn to recognize where it came from and slowly change how you respond to it, not by shutting it down, but by relating to it differently. Breath and grounding practices help bring you back into a body that may have felt unsafe for a long time. Simple tools like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or noticing what you can see, hear, and feel in the present moment can calm the nervous system and make the body feel less like a threat. Daily nonsexual pleasure practices also matter more than they seem. Things like warm water on your skin, the taste of something you enjoy, or sunlight on your face help rebuild trust with physical sensation. These small experiences teach your body that feeling good is safe, and over time, make it easier to approach pleasure without fear or shame. They’re also a form of self care that can help you reconnect with your sexual selves and pay attention to your own health instead of only monitoring whether your body is acceptable. Move At Your Own Pace: Practical Steps For Clients There is no rushing this. The single most counterproductive thing in healing from sexual shame is trying to move faster than your nervous system is ready to move. Slow is not the opposite of progress. Slow often is progress. This is called microsteps. Microsteps are reading something sex-positive without spiraling into guilt afterward. Buying a book about sexual health is a step. Telling your therapist one thing that has always felt completely unspeakable is a significant step. Over time, that can include gently questioning old belief systems, including purity culture bs. These aren't small. They're recalibrations of a nervous system that has been on high alert for years. Private, time-limited self-exploration homework is sometimes introduced in sex therapy, always with explicit consent and clear framing. This isn't about performance or achieving any particular outcome. It's about building an unhurried, low-stakes relationship with your own body, on your own terms, and getting curious about sexual feelings and sexual desires at your own pace. Pacing your exposure to sexual material, whether that's media, educational content, conversations, or partnered activity, is a learnable skill. The goal isn't to white-knuckle through discomfort. It's to gradually expand your window of tolerance so that more becomes possible without triggering shutdown, helping you reconnect with your own sexuality and feel less afraid of sexual pleasure. Pausing when overwhelmed is not failure. It's the skill. Every client is reminded of this regularly: stopping, regulating, and returning when you're ready is exactly the right response. The nervous system doesn't heal through force. It heals through repeated experiences of safety. Rebuilding Consent, Autonomy, And Healthy Boundaries You have a right to consent. Not just in the legal sense. In the everyday sense. Your preferences matter. Your no is valid. Consent scripts for everyday life give you language to practice with, not just for the bedroom, but for Tuesday afternoon when someone hugs you without asking, or when a family member crosses a line you didn't used to know you had. Consent work also often improves communication about sexual needs. The muscle of self-advocacy builds through repetition in low-stakes moments, so it's available when the stakes are higher. Practicing yes, no, and not right now in ordinary situations with friends, coworkers, service providers, and family is surprisingly transformative. Saying "actually, no thank you" to something you don't want, without over-explaining or apologizing, can reduce habitual compliance in both daily life and sexual behavior. No is a complete sentence. So is “not right now.” A personal safety preference list is one of the most grounding exercises a client can do: a written inventory of the specific conditions under which you feel emotionally and physically safe. Things like "I need to have a conversation about something before we try it" or "I need to be able to stop without giving a reason." Naming those preferences can also support safer future sexual encounters. Having language for what you need is the first step to being able to ask for it. Therapy Modalities And Professional Support There’s no single path through healing from religious sexual shame, and at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we don’t treat it like there is. Different people need different support, and our therapists use a range of evidence informed approaches, including Trauma-Informed Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, commitment therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Somatic Therapy. Trauma informed sex therapy holds both pieces at the same time. It understands how trauma shows up in the body and how it impacts sexuality and relationships. It also moves at your pace, never pushing past what feels safe, and never treating your experience as something wrong. Sexual struggles are often trauma shaped, even when they don’t look like it at first. Working with a sex therapist can also help address sexual concerns without judgment. In practice, talk therapy can help you notice shame-based beliefs and compare old thoughts with present reality so they feel less absolute. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy supports values-based action and greater psychological flexibility around sex and intimacy. Internal Family Systems helps clients work with internal parts, such as punitive inner critics or younger parts shaped by shame. Somatic therapy works directly with the body, because that’s often where these experiences are stored, and our specialized sex therapy services integrate this awareness when working with intimacy and sexual concerns. The body can carry reactions long after the mind understands what happened. Approaches like breath work, gentle movement, and noticing body sensations help the nervous system settle and support a sense of safety again. EMDR is a structured, well researched therapy that helps process painful memories. For people carrying specific moments of shame or fear, it can help those memories lose their intensity, so they feel less present and overwhelming. Group therapy offers something different from individual work. It gives you the experience of being heard by others who understand in a real way, supported by our diverse team of therapists. For many people, it is the first time they share their story and don’t feel alone in it. Low-Cost Options, Student Training, And Community Resources Healing should not be a luxury. Atlanta Therapeutic Collective is committed to making care accessible at every income level. Sliding-scale and low-cost therapy programs . No client is turned away solely because of cost. If finances are a barrier, please say so. There are options. Student intern sessions provide high-quality, low-cost care at a significantly reduced rate. Our supervised practicum students are advanced graduate trainees working under licensed clinician oversight. The quality of care is genuinely good, and the reduced price reflects our commitment to access, not a compromise on what you receive. Local Atlanta community support groups. Our intake team can connect you with current schedules and resources as part of your referral process, helping you find a supportive community instead of searching on your own. Directories like Reclamation Collective and AASECT can also help you find therapists who specialize in religious trauma and sexual shame. When To Seek Specialized Professional Support Most people reading this are carrying things that benefit enormously from skilled therapeutic support. But some situations call for more immediate or intensive care. If you're in crisis or experiencing severe PTSD symptoms including flashbacks, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or an inability to function in daily life, please reach out urgently. Contact a crisis line, go to an emergency room, or call Atlanta Therapeutic Collective's intake team directly. You deserve immediate support, not a waitlist. If you've been experiencing persistent sexual avoidance, genuinely unable to access intimacy, avoiding medical care, or shutting down any conversation about your sexual health, seeking professional support from a mental health professional who understands the nuances of religious deconstruction and sexual health can offer a depth of support that general therapy often can't. If the healing work you're doing individually is creating significant strain in a relationship, or if avoidance has become a source of real rupture between you and a partner, couples therapy with a trauma-informed, sex-positive clinician can help both of you understand what you're navigating and find ways to move through it together, especially when sexual shame is affecting your sex life or sexual function with a partner. What To Expect In Therapy For Religious Sexual Shame If you've never done this kind of therapy before, walking into that first session can feel enormous. Here's what it actually looks like. The first sessions are about safety and history. Your therapist will spend time getting to know you, understanding your background, assessing what's present, including sexual shame and guilt tied to early messages from religious communities, and establishing a relationship where you feel genuinely able to be honest. You won't be pushed to share more than you're ready to share. There is no agenda other than your wellbeing. Treatment planning is collaborative. This isn't something your therapist does to you. Together, you'll identify what you most need, what matters most to you, and what a meaningful outcome would look like, whether that includes making sense of sexual identity, sexual orientation, or other concerns affecting relationships and self-trust. Between sessions, you'll have homework. Typically this looks like journaling prompts, mindfulness or breath practices, gentle body-based exercises, or some of the self-exploration and sensation work described throughout this guide. Exercises may also support more comfort with sexual feelings, sexual expression, or supportive relationships outside therapy. Everything is optional. Everything is discussed. Nothing is ever assigned without your input and consent. Next Steps: Getting Started With Atlanta Therapeutic Collective If you read this far, something in here landed for you. You don't have to figure out what to do alone. To get started, reach out to our intake team by phone or through our website contact form. We'll ask a few brief, low-pressure questions to understand your needs and match you with a therapist who has specific experience in the areas most relevant to your history, including a sex therapist or other clinician who is sex-positive and experienced with religious trauma. You don't need to have everything figured out before you call. If cost is a concern, ask about our sliding-scale program, our student intern sessions, and our current group therapy offerings that can help you build a supportive community. Our intake coordinator can walk you through every option. Healing isn't about erasing where you came from. It's about reclaiming where you're going. Your body belongs to you. Your desire belongs to you. Your sexuality and pleasure are part of the human experience, and your sexuality belongs to you. It's never too late to find your way back.

Introduction: Why Your Online Dating Profile Matters When You Want Something Real This guide is for adults in their late 20s through 50s and beyond who are using dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, and OKCupid in 2026—and who want something more than hookups. If you’re seeking a serious, emotionally healthy relationship, your online dating profile needs to do more than look good. It needs to feel like you and act as an invitation to your world—not just a resume. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we work daily with clients navigating how online dating affects their mental health. We see the anxiety, the burnout, and the hits to self-esteem when matches don’t pan out. This guide blends practical tips with a coaching-informed perspective because your dating life and your emotional well-being aren’t separate things. Here’s the reality: research shows you have roughly 30 to 150 seconds to make a first impression on someone scrolling through profiles. Eye-tracking studies indicate that 80-90% of swipes happen within the first 7-10 seconds based on photos and initial text. People decide quickly, evaluating both your photos and the details in your bio. Each dating site or app has its own focus—Tinder is more visual, while Hinge and eHarmony allow for more personality-driven bios. That’s a small window. A grounded, intentional profile gives you the best chance of connecting with people who are actually compatible with you. We’ll walk through step-by-step guidance on photos, prompts, deal-breakers, and emotional safety—including notes for LGBTQ+, consensually non-monogamous (CNM), and kink-affiliated daters. Imagine someone in Atlanta in their late 30s, re-entering dating after divorce, trying to figure out how to represent themselves honestly without oversharing. This article is for that person, and for you. Start With Clarity: Know What You Want Before You Open the Dating App The most compelling dating profiles don’t start with clever lines. They start with internal clarity about what you actually want. Before you write a single word, focus on where you stand on these relationship goals: Casual dating: Short-term connection without commitment expectations. Monogamous long-term relationship: Seeking partnership, possibly marriage or cohabitation. Consensual non-monogamy: Ethical polyamory, open relationships, or similar structures. Exploratory: Not sure, but genuinely open to seeing what develops. Unresolved grief, recent breakups (especially within the past three months), or intense loneliness can shape your profile’s tone in ways you might not notice. A 2025 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that profiles reflecting recent emotional pain receive 35% fewer right-swipes due to detected negativity. Most people can sense when someone sounds bitter, even through a screen. Take time to jot down 3-5 core values before editing your bio, and focus on what matters most to you. Mention specific interests or values in your profile to make it more engaging. These might include honesty, curiosity, political alignment, family orientation, kink-positivity, or spiritual beliefs. For example, mentioning your favorite coffee shop or a particular hobby can make your profile more appealing. 2024 Pew Research data shows that profiles rooted in clear self-awareness outperform vague ones by 40% in match quality. If clarity feels hard because of anxiety, trauma, or codependency patterns, working with a therapist, joining a process group, or exploring dating and relationship coaching in Atlanta can help. This isn’t about being “fixed” before dating—it’s about knowing yourself well enough to attract the right match. Tell Your Story Honestly (Without Trauma-Dumping) Honesty builds long-term trust. But there’s a difference between being authentic and overwhelming someone before they’ve even messaged you. White lies might seem harmless—shaving a few years off your age, adding an inch to your height, using photos from 2018. However, don’t fall into the trap of using misleading photos or small lies. EliteSingles surveys consistently show dishonesty as a top turnoff. Fifty-two percent of users won’t open profiles without photos, and even small misrepresentations erode the sense of safety both you and your potential partners deserve. In fact, 66% of survey respondents indicated they would not consider a relationship with someone who embellished their characteristics on their dating profile, emphasizing the importance of honesty. A strong bio runs about 4-6 sentences and follows a simple structure: One sentence about your current life (work, city, daily routine). One to two sentences about interests and values. One sentence about what you’re looking for. One sentence that invites conversation. Example of neutral honesty: “Divorced in 2022 and co-parenting an 8-year-old in Decatur.” “In recovery, alcohol-free since 2020.” “Career-switching therapist who still gets excited about early morning runs.” These lines are honest without turning your profile into a therapy session. Save detailed trauma history, ex complaints, and court battles for later conversations—or for actual therapy. Your profile is a snapshot, not a memoir. Skip the Negativity: What to Avoid Saying (and Why It Matters for Your Mental Health) Research from 2024 U.S. app-user data analyzing 50 million profiles shows that using negative language or a negative tone is a top “ick.” In fact, 70% of users reported that negativity or bitterness in a dating profile bio is a major turnoff, and it's the biggest dealbreaker for most users. It also reinforces your own hopelessness about dating, creating a cycle that makes the process feel worse. It doesn’t matter if you think a small negative comment is harmless—it can still turn people away. Phrases to avoid: “No drama” — Sounds defensive; reduces likes by 45%. “If you’re crazy, swipe left” — Signals hostility and poor grammar in emotional intelligence. “Sick of games” — Evokes bitterness; drops engagement by 38%. “Prove to me you’re different” — Demands labor from strangers; alienates 62% of readers. Reframes that communicate boundaries without contempt: Instead of… Try… “No liars” “I value honesty and follow-through” “Don’t waste my time” “Looking for someone ready for real connection” “No players” “Interested in people who want something meaningful” Understandable anger from past dating experiences doesn’t need to show up in your profile. Therapy or support groups can help you process that frustration so it doesn’t leak into your writing and push away potential matches you’d actually enjoy meeting. The point is to keep your dating profile upbeat and positive—this is essential for attracting the right people and making a strong first impression. Talk About What You Love, Not Just What You Tolerate Listing specific, real-life joys is more compelling than generic phrases like “I love to travel.” Sharing what you’re passionate about helps your dating profile stand out and feel authentic. Berkeley Haas research from 2024 found that profiles highlighting specific interests outperform vague ones by 2.5 times in appeal ratings. In fact, 21% of users report losing interest in profiles that don’t provide enough description, so it’s important to go beyond the basics. Vivid examples that work: “Best part of my week is Wednesday night pickup soccer in Atlanta.” “I’m the friend who always organizes game night—yes, I have strong opinions about board games.” “Sunday mornings mean coffee at Dancing Goats in Decatur, then a long walk with no destination.” “I get unreasonably excited about farmers markets and will talk about tomatoes for too long.” Showcasing interesting details about your life—like a quirky hobby or a recent adventure—makes your profile more engaging and helps attract attention from potential matches. Using “show, don’t tell” techniques, such as describing a favorite moment or a unique experience, is much more interesting than simply listing hobbies. Balance your profile by including at least one quiet joy (reading on the porch, cooking, gardening) and one social or active interest. This gives people an idea of your personality and shows a well-rounded life that someone could actually join. Avoid turning hobbies into rigid checklists. “Must love CrossFit and backpacking” narrows your options by about 28%. Instead, frame interests as invitations: “If you like late-night documentaries and early-morning bagels, we’ll get along.” Be sure to mention specific interests or activities, not just general hobbies, to create a more compelling and relatable profile. Sharing interests tied to well-being—yoga, art, therapy, ethically practiced kink—can attract partners who respect emotional and sexual health. You don’t need to list every passion, just enough to give someone a sense of what lights you up. Be Honest About Deal-Breakers and Compatibility (Without Shaming Anyone) It’s healthier to be clear about non-negotiables early than to hope someone will change. A 2025 eHarmony study of 8,000 users showed that early clarity on major compatibility factors boosts relationship retention by 60%. Categories worth considering: Kids: want them, don’t want them, already have them. Marriage: important, unimportant, uncertain. Relationship structure: monogamy vs. consensual non-monogamy. Substance use, smoking, or vaping. Religion and spirituality. Political alignment (72% of daters filter by politics post-2024). Geography and willingness to relocate. Everyone has different deal-breakers—guys, women, and nonbinary folks alike—so it’s normal for your dating profile to reflect your unique preferences. Examples of gentle, self-focused language: “I’m happily child-free and want to keep it that way.” “I’m polyamorous and don’t date people hoping I’ll become monogamous.” “Queer Atlantan, looking for LGBTQ-affirming partners who are comfortable being out.” Avoid insulting or stereotyping groups. Phrases like “No crazy baby mamas” or “No religious nuts” are red flags to most healthy daters. State what you want, not who you hate. Therapy can help clarify whether something is a true deal-breaker or a fear-based rule left over from past hurt. Not every strong preference is a boundary—some are walls built from wounds. Photos With a Story: Showing the Real You Without Over-Editing Most people will see your photos before reading every word, so what you upload truly sets the tone. A handful of intentional, recent pictures (from 2023-2026, not a decade ago) can tell a grounded, attractive story and help women get a real sense of who you are—women are especially likely to scrutinize profile photos and even share them with friends. Aim for the 2-4-1 Rule: 2 smiling headshots (make sure at least one is a clear, well-lit headshot for your main photo—this is key). 4 lifestyle or hobby shots (action shots, social photos with friends or family, relaxed everyday moments like on the BeltLine or cooking at home). 1 full-body photo. Your main profile picture should immediately draw attention—focus on your strengths, whether that’s a close-up of your face or another feature that feels authentic if you’re not conventionally attractive. Remember, 52% of members won’t even open a profile without a profile picture, so this step really does matter. Variety in your photos is critical for success and helps create a three-dimensional idea of your life. A cool story or photo that feels real and unique will stand out more than something staged. And while it’s great to show your face, it doesn’t always matter if every photo is a perfect headshot—as long as your authenticity comes through. What to avoid: Heavily filtered images that don’t match reality. Out-of-date photos misrepresenting weight or hair. Photos where you’ve obviously cropped out an ex. Only group photos where viewers can’t tell which person you are. If you’re a parent, an occasional kid-friendly photo (with privacy in mind) is fine. If you’re kinky or in CNM, consider subtle coded images on mainstream apps and clearer signaling on niche platforms like Feeld. Not everyone loves cameras, and that’s okay. Simple photos are fine as long as they’re accurate and show you in a way that feels comfortable. Prompts, Opening Lines, and Calls to Action That Actually Start Conversations Prompts and first lines are where personality and emotional availability show up quickly. Prompts in dating profiles can encourage conversation and engagement, so choose prompts that reveal values and daily life, not just sarcasm. Popular dating profile prompts often lead to more conversations and can highlight your personal values and goals. Strong prompt choices: “Typical Sunday.” “Two truths and a lie.” “A cause I care about.” “I’m looking for someone who…” Profiles that feature humor or a funny touch are often seen as more attractive and engaging, as humor can indicate intelligence and make your profile memorable. Try to incorporate humor or wit in your answers. For example: Examples of warm, specific answers: “My love language is making you a playlist for every road trip.” “On our ideal Saturday we’re at a farmers market, then napping with the dog.” “I’ll argue passionately that the best tacos in Atlanta are at [your pick].” “Currently reading three books at once and finishing none of them.” “Funny enough, my dog has better dating luck than I do.” Adding a 6-15 second voice or video prompt can make your dating profile three times more engaging. End your profile with a gentle call to action that makes it easy to respond: “Message me with your favorite local coffee spot” or “Tell me the last book you couldn’t put down.” It’s okay to say something like “I’m a little nervous about this app thing, but open to meeting someone kind and emotionally mature.” Normalizing vulnerability—without sounding desperate—can attract partners who value honesty. Special Considerations for LGBTQ+, Polyamorous, and Kink-Affiliated Daters In the world of dating, queer, CNM, and kink-involved folks often have extra safety and disclosure decisions to navigate. Atlanta’s scene is diverse (approximately 15% LGBTQ+ per recent census data), but affirmation isn’t universal. Be as out or discreet as feels safe, while signaling clearly enough to attract compatible partners. Terms like “queer,” “ENM,” or subtle kink references can help insiders recognize you without overexposure. OKCupid data shows proper identity signaling boosts compatible matches by 50%. Profile lines that normalize these identities: “Bisexual woman, partnered, and looking for another long-term partner (yes, my partner knows).” “Kink-friendly, consent-focused, happy to talk about it when we both feel comfortable.” “Non-binary and tired of explaining my pronouns—please know the basics before matching.” LGBTQ-affirming and kink-aware therapists and coaches can provide support around coming out, navigating jealousy, and building secure attachment in non-traditional relationship structures. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, this work is central to what we do. You’re not obligated to educate every match about your identity on demand. Boundaries like “Please Google before asking invasive questions” can be included kindly but firmly. Protecting Your Mental Health While You Date Online Online dating in 2026 can feel like a part-time job. Pew Research from 2025 reports that 47% of app users experience anxiety or burnout. Rejection sensitivity, trauma responses, and comparison spirals are common. Self-care strategies: Set time limits on swiping (under 30 minutes daily cuts stress by 25%). Take two-week breaks when you feel burnt out. Avoid checking apps right before bed—it disrupts sleep. Don’t open apps when already very anxious or depressed. Notice emotional patterns: feeling crushed by unmatches, obsessing over tiny profile details, replaying conversations for hours. These may be signs that old relational wounds are activated. Therapy—individual or group—can help unpack patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable, repeating attachment wounds, or difficulty stating needs. Coaching can help you grow the skills needed once you heal from past wounds and trauma. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we offer sex and intimacy therapy, relationship therapy, low-cost counseling with master’s-level clinicians, sex and intimacy coaching in Atlanta, and dating and relationship coaching for people wanting to date in healthier, more self-respecting ways. Your dating app shouldn’t become the world’s worst mood regulator. Protect your space. Proofread, Refresh, and Let Your Profile Evolve With You Your profile is a snapshot in time, not a permanent identity. Update it as life changes—new job, move to Decatur, shift in relationship orientation, improvements in mental health. Simple editing tips: Read your profile aloud (you’ll catch awkward phrasing). Ask a trusted friend for honest feedback. Run text through a grammar checker. Remove any lines written from anger or exhaustion last year. Review photos and text every one to two months, or after any major life change. Data suggests quarterly refreshes improve match quality by about 35%. Notice what happens when your profile becomes more aligned with who you really are. Many clients report that match quality improves significantly—not because they became more attractive, but because they became more honest. Building a thoughtful online dating profile is one small, powerful step toward healthier, more connected relationships. It takes effort and a willingness to stand in your truth. If the process brings up deeper feelings or patterns—anxiety about rejection, old wounds from past relationships, fear of being truly seen—support is available. Therapy isn’t a sign something’s wrong with you. It’s a resource for becoming the person you want to be when you finally meet people worth meeting. Ready to work on what’s underneath the profile? Reach out to Atlanta Therapeutic Collective to explore individual therapy, relationship counseling, or dating or relationship coaching. The next post in your dating life might just be the one that changes everything.

When life feels overwhelming or relationships become challenging, finding the right support can make all the difference. Therapy groups offer a unique space where people come together to share, learn, and heal. If you’re curious about therapy groups in Decatur, you’re in the right place. I want to walk you through what these groups are, how they work, and why they might be a good fit for you or someone you care about. Understanding Therapy Groups in Decatur Therapy groups are gatherings led by trained professionals where individuals with similar concerns meet regularly. These groups provide a safe, confidential environment to explore feelings, gain insights, and develop coping skills. In Decatur, therapy groups cover a wide range of topics, from anxiety and depression to relationship challenges and personal growth. One of the beautiful things about therapy groups is the sense of community they create. You’re not alone in your struggles. Hearing others’ stories can be comforting and inspiring. Plus, group members often offer support and encouragement that feels different from one-on-one therapy. If you’re wondering what types of therapy groups are available in Decatur, here are some common examples: Support groups for anxiety and depression: These focus on managing symptoms and sharing coping strategies. Relationship and couples therapy groups: Designed to improve communication and deepen connections. Trauma recovery groups: Safe spaces to process past experiences with professional guidance. Personal development groups: Focused on building self-esteem, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Many local therapists and organizations offer these groups, including the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur, which specializes in accessible and inclusive mental health services. Eye-level view of a cozy therapy room with chairs arranged in a circle How Therapy Groups in Decatur Can Help You Joining a therapy group can feel like a big step, especially if you’re new to therapy. But the benefits are often worth it. Here’s how therapy groups in Decatur can support your mental health journey: Shared Experiences Hearing others talk about their challenges can help you feel less isolated. It’s reassuring to know that others face similar struggles and are working through them. Learning New Skills Groups often teach practical tools for managing emotions, improving communication, and handling stress. These skills can be applied in everyday life. Building Connections Therapy groups foster a sense of belonging. You might find friendships or simply feel supported by people who understand. Safe Environment The group is a confidential space where you can express yourself without judgment. This safety encourages honesty and growth. Cost-Effective Support Group therapy is often more affordable than individual sessions, making mental health care accessible to more people. If you’re considering joining a group, think about what you want to gain. Are you looking for emotional support, practical advice, or a place to practice new ways of relating? Knowing your goals can help you find the right fit. What is the Cost of Therapeutic Collectives? Cost is an important factor when exploring therapy options. Many people worry about affordability, but therapy groups can be surprisingly accessible. The price varies depending on the provider, group size, and session length. For example, some groups charge a flat fee per session, while others offer sliding scale rates based on income. The atlanta therapeutic collective decatur is committed to making therapy affordable. They offer competitive rates and sometimes provide scholarships or reduced fees for those in need. Here are some tips to manage costs: Ask about sliding scale fees: Many therapists adjust prices to fit your budget. Check if insurance covers group therapy: Some plans include partial coverage. Look for community-based groups: Nonprofits often run low-cost or free sessions. Consider online groups: Virtual therapy groups can be less expensive and more flexible. Remember, investing in your mental health is valuable. Therapy groups can provide long-term benefits that improve your quality of life. Close-up view of a therapy group session with participants seated in a circle How to Choose the Right Therapy Group in Decatur Finding the right group can feel overwhelming, but a few simple steps can guide you: Identify your needs: What issues do you want to address? Anxiety, relationships, trauma, or personal growth? Research providers: Look for licensed therapists or reputable organizations offering groups in Decatur. Consider group size and format: Smaller groups may feel more intimate, while larger ones offer diverse perspectives. Decide if you prefer in-person or online sessions. Ask about the facilitator’s experience: A skilled leader creates a safe and productive environment. Check the schedule and location: Make sure the group fits your availability and is easy to access. Don’t hesitate to reach out and ask questions before joining. Many groups offer an initial consultation or trial session. This can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your choice. What to Expect in Your First Therapy Group Session Walking into a therapy group for the first time can be nerve-wracking. It’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. Here’s what you can expect: Introductions: The facilitator will usually start by welcoming everyone and explaining the group’s purpose and rules. Confidentiality agreement: Everyone agrees to keep what’s shared private. Sharing your story: You’ll have a chance to talk about why you joined and what you hope to achieve. Listening and support: Other members will listen and may share their experiences or offer encouragement. Guided activities: The facilitator might lead exercises or discussions to help the group connect and learn. Remember, you don’t have to share more than you’re comfortable with. Listening is just as valuable as speaking. Over time, you’ll likely feel more at ease and open. Joining a therapy group is a brave and positive step toward healing. It’s a place where you can grow, connect, and find hope. Exploring therapy groups in Decatur opens doors to support and understanding. Whether you’re dealing with stress, relationship issues, or personal challenges, these groups offer a welcoming space to heal together. If affordability is a concern, consider options like the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur, which strives to make quality therapy accessible to all. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve the care that helps you thrive.

Mental health care is a deeply personal journey, and it’s essential that everyone feels seen, heard, and supported along the way. But what does it truly mean to embrace inclusivity in mental health care? How can therapy become a space where all identities, backgrounds, and experiences are honored? I want to explore these questions with you, sharing insights and practical steps that can help make mental health services more welcoming and effective for everyone. When we talk about inclusivity in therapy, we’re not just discussing diversity in a general sense. We’re focusing on creating environments where people of all races, genders, sexual orientations, abilities, and socioeconomic statuses can access care that respects their unique needs. This approach is vital because mental health struggles do not discriminate, and neither should the support we offer. Eye-level view of a cozy therapy room with comfortable chairs and soft lighting Understanding Inclusive Therapy Practices Inclusive therapy practices are about more than just checking boxes. They involve a commitment to understanding and addressing the specific challenges faced by marginalized or underrepresented groups. This means therapists must be culturally competent, aware of systemic barriers, and sensitive to the nuances of identity. For example, a therapist working with LGBTQ+ clients should be knowledgeable about the unique stressors related to coming out, discrimination, or navigating relationships. Similarly, therapists supporting clients with disabilities need to ensure their services are physically accessible and that communication methods are adapted as needed. Inclusive therapy also means recognizing intersectionality - the way different aspects of a person’s identity overlap and affect their experiences. Someone might face challenges not just because of their race or gender but because of the combination of these factors with economic hardship or immigration status. Here are some key elements of inclusive therapy practices: Cultural humility: Therapists approach each client with openness and a willingness to learn about their cultural background. Affirming language: Using terms and pronouns that clients prefer, which helps build trust and respect. Accessibility: Ensuring therapy spaces and materials are accessible to people with disabilities. Trauma-informed care: Understanding how past trauma, especially related to discrimination or marginalization, impacts mental health. Client-centered approach: Tailoring therapy goals and methods to fit the client’s unique context and values. By embracing these principles, therapy becomes a collaborative and empowering process. What is the Cost of Therapeutic Collectives? When considering mental health care, cost is often a significant concern. Therapeutic collectives, which are groups of therapists working together to provide diverse and affordable services, offer a promising solution. These collectives pool resources and expertise to reduce individual costs while maintaining high-quality care. The cost of joining a therapeutic collective can vary depending on location, services offered, and the collective’s structure. Many collectives aim to provide sliding scale fees based on income, making therapy more accessible to people who might otherwise be priced out. For example, a collective might offer: Group therapy sessions at a lower rate than individual therapy. Training programs where supervised trainees provide therapy at reduced costs. Specialized services like sex and relationship therapy that are often hard to find and expensive elsewhere. By sharing resources, therapeutic collectives can also invest in ongoing training to ensure therapists stay informed about inclusive practices and emerging mental health research. If you’re exploring options in Atlanta, the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur is a great example of a community-focused group that prioritizes affordability and inclusivity. They offer specialized therapy services while supporting new therapists through training programs, making quality care more reachable for many. Close-up view of a therapy group session in a bright, inviting room Practical Steps to Foster Inclusivity in Your Therapy Experience Whether you’re seeking therapy for the first time or continuing your mental health journey, there are ways to ensure your experience is inclusive and supportive. Here are some actionable recommendations: Ask about cultural competence: Don’t hesitate to inquire if a therapist has experience working with clients who share your background or identity. Clarify your needs upfront: Share your preferences regarding pronouns, communication style, and any accommodations you might require. Seek out affirming environments: Look for therapists or collectives that explicitly state their commitment to inclusivity and diversity. Use sliding scale or community resources: Many therapists offer flexible payment options, and collectives often have programs to reduce costs. Advocate for yourself: If something doesn’t feel right in therapy, speak up or consider finding a provider who better aligns with your needs. Explore group therapy: Sometimes, connecting with others who share similar experiences can enhance healing and reduce feelings of isolation. Remember, therapy is your space. It should feel safe and empowering, not intimidating or exclusionary. The Role of Community in Inclusive Mental Health Care Mental health care doesn’t happen in isolation. Community plays a crucial role in fostering inclusivity and support. When therapy services are embedded within a community context, they become more accessible and relevant. Community-based mental health initiatives often: Partner with local organizations to reach underserved populations. Offer workshops and support groups that address specific cultural or identity-related topics. Provide education to reduce stigma around mental health. Create safe spaces where people can share their stories and find solidarity. For example, in Atlanta, collectives like the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur work closely with the community to ensure their services reflect the needs and values of the people they serve. This approach helps break down barriers and builds trust. When we think about inclusivity, it’s important to remember that healing is not just an individual process but a collective one. By nurturing community connections, we create a stronger foundation for mental wellness. Moving Forward with Compassion and Openness Embracing inclusivity in mental health care is an ongoing journey. It requires us to listen deeply, challenge our assumptions, and commit to growth. Whether you are a client seeking therapy or a provider offering it, there is always room to expand understanding and improve accessibility. I encourage you to approach mental health care with gentle curiosity and courage. Ask questions, seek out affirming spaces, and remember that your identity and experiences matter. Inclusive therapy practices are not just ideals - they are essential for healing and thriving. Together, we can build a mental health care system that truly welcomes everyone, honors diversity, and supports the whole person. This is the heart of inclusive therapy - a place where every story is valued and every voice is heard. Thank you for joining me in this conversation about inclusivity in mental health care. If you’re in Atlanta and looking for affordable, specialized therapy, consider exploring options like the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur to find a supportive and inclusive space for your journey.

When it comes to building and maintaining healthy relationships, we often find ourselves navigating complex emotions, communication challenges, and personal histories. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we hit roadblocks that feel difficult to overcome alone. That’s where inclusive relationship therapy can make a profound difference. It offers a safe, welcoming space where all individuals and couples can explore their unique experiences and grow stronger together. Inclusive therapy is not just about addressing relationship issues; it’s about honoring every person’s identity, background, and needs. Whether you’re exploring new ways to connect with your partner or healing from past wounds, this approach helps unlock better relationships by fostering understanding, empathy, and authentic communication. What Is Inclusive Relationship Therapy? Inclusive relationship therapy is a form of counseling that recognizes and respects the diversity of identities, orientations, cultures, and experiences within relationships. It goes beyond traditional therapy by actively creating an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. This type of therapy acknowledges that relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. Factors like race, gender identity, sexual orientation, cultural background, and personal history all influence how we relate to others. Inclusive therapists are trained to understand these layers and to tailor their approach accordingly. For example, a couple where one partner identifies as non-binary and the other is cisgender might face unique challenges around communication and societal expectations. Inclusive therapy provides tools and language to navigate these differences with compassion and clarity. How Does Inclusive Therapy Work? Affirmation of Identity: Therapists validate each person’s identity and experiences without judgment. Cultural Sensitivity: Therapists consider cultural values and traditions that shape relationship dynamics. Open Communication: Encourages honest dialogue about feelings, boundaries, and needs. Customized Strategies: Therapy techniques are adapted to fit the specific context of the relationship. Focus on Growth: Emphasizes personal and relational growth rather than just problem-solving. By embracing these principles, inclusive relationship therapy helps couples and individuals build stronger, more resilient connections. Eye-level view of a cozy therapy room with two chairs and soft lighting Why Choose Inclusive Relationship Therapy? You might wonder why inclusive therapy is particularly beneficial. The answer lies in its ability to create a space where everyone can bring their whole selves without fear of misunderstanding or bias. Many traditional therapy settings unintentionally exclude or overlook the needs of marginalized groups. This can leave people feeling isolated or misunderstood, which only adds strain to their relationships. Inclusive therapy actively works against this by: Reducing Stigma: Normalizing diverse relationship structures and identities. Building Trust: Creating a safe environment for vulnerability. Enhancing Empathy: Helping partners understand each other’s perspectives deeply. Addressing Intersectionality: Recognizing how overlapping identities impact relationship experiences. For instance, if you or your partner come from different cultural backgrounds, inclusive therapy can help you navigate those differences with respect and curiosity rather than conflict. If you’re in Atlanta, you might find that places like the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur offer specialized services that embrace these values. They focus on making therapy accessible and affordable while supporting a diverse community. Close-up view of a notebook and pen on a therapy table, ready for notes What Is the Cost of Therapeutic Collectives? Understanding the cost of therapy is important when considering your options. Therapeutic collectives often operate differently from traditional private practices. They aim to make mental health services more affordable and accessible by: Offering Sliding Scale Fees: Adjusting costs based on your income. Providing Group Sessions: Lower-cost options that still offer valuable support. Supporting Trainee Therapists: Sessions with supervised trainees at reduced rates. Accepting Insurance: Some collectives work with insurance providers to reduce out-of-pocket expenses. For example, a therapeutic collective might offer individual or couples therapy starting at a lower rate than typical private practices. This approach helps remove financial barriers that often prevent people from seeking help. If affordability is a concern, it’s worth exploring collectives in your area. They often provide transparent pricing and flexible payment plans. This way, you can access quality care without added stress. How to Get Started with Inclusive Relationship Therapy Taking the first step toward therapy can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some practical tips to help you begin your journey: Identify Your Goals: Think about what you want to achieve in therapy. Is it better communication? Healing from past hurts? Understanding your partner better? Research Providers: Look for therapists or collectives that emphasize inclusivity and have experience with diverse relationships. Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to inquire about the therapist’s approach, experience, and fees. Schedule a Consultation: Many therapists offer an initial session to see if it’s a good fit. Prepare for Sessions: Bring openness and honesty. Therapy is a collaborative process. Remember, therapy is a space for growth, not judgment. It’s okay to feel nervous or unsure. The right therapist will guide you gently and supportively. Embracing Growth and Connection Inclusive relationship therapy is more than just a treatment option. It’s a pathway to deeper connection, understanding, and healing. By choosing this approach, you’re investing in a relationship that honors both your individuality and your shared journey. Whether you’re navigating new relationship dynamics or seeking to strengthen a long-term partnership, inclusive therapy offers tools and insights that can transform how you relate to each other. It encourages kindness, patience, and curiosity—qualities that build lasting bonds. If you’re ready to explore this path, consider reaching out to local resources like the atlanta therapeutic collective decatur . They are committed to supporting the Atlanta community with affordable, inclusive mental health services tailored to your needs. Your relationship deserves care that respects and celebrates who you are. Inclusive therapy can help unlock that potential, one conversation at a time.

Takeaway: Feeling like you lost your spark with your partner after having a new baby?  It's important to focus on rebuilding that emotional connection. You’re not alone. Here, the therapists at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective share their recommendations for how to reconnect with your partner after having kids  as new parents. –including what to avoid. When Sam and Pip became new parents, they braced themselves for the sleepless nights, the endless loads of laundry, and the daily debate over whose turn it was to tackle the next diaper.  What they didn't expect was how quietly the distance between them would grow including the loss of morning coffee together after their first child arrived. Their once playful conversations, full of future plans and inside jokes, gradually morphed into checklists about feeding times and daycare routines. By the time they reached out for help, Pip admitted,  "It feels like we're just roommates now. I miss us... but I don't even know how to find our way back." Sound familiar?  At  Atlanta Therapeutic Collective , we specialize in supporting new parents as they adjust from a romantic relationship to parenthood. With a deep understanding of perinatal mental health and the evolving identity shifts that occur after kids, we helps couples rebuild their connection, improve communication, and rediscover each other—without adding more pressure to the already full plate of domestic duties.  In this post, we'll share five dos and don'ts to reconnect with your partner after having kids  and spend quality time together . Whether you're feeling more like roommates than romantic partners or just want to feel closer again, you'll find guidance here to help you rebuild connection, one small step at a time. The “ do’s ” of how to reconnect with your partner after having kids 1. Prioritize quality time What it is: Carving out time, whether a few minutes or a few hours, for intentional connection beyond parenting roles. Example: Setting aside 10-15 minutes each day without screens or other distractions for holding hands or fun. How it helps: Alone time helps you show up as your best self when reconnecting with your partner. These small moments of connection help maintain emotional intimacy and mutual appreciation. 2. Great communication is key to reconnecting with your partner. What it is: Communicating openly and kindly without assigning blame to discuss emotions, needs, and daily responsibilities in a safe space. Example: Instead of saying "You never make time for us," try, "I miss spending time together and want to find a way to make that happen." How it helps: Scheduling regular check-ins can improve communication, and we often recommend a RADAR check-in meeting  template to get started. 3. Acknowledge the toll of exhaustion What it is: Sleep deprivation can reduce the energy available for couples to connect, impacting both mental and physical health. Example: One helpful strategy is to try a "Sleep Swap," agree on one morning or evening each week when each partner gets uninterrupted rest. How it helps: Prioritizing rest makes it easier to be present, patient, and emotionally available which can be beneficial rebuilding connection and minimizing reactivity. This small and intentional practice can decrease resentment, restore energy, and reinforce a sense of partnership with well rested minds. 4. Understand shifts in sexual desire What it is: Changes in sexual behavior and desire are common and can be influenced by hormones, body image issues, and emotional elements such as feeling sad. Research shows that responsive desire , where desire grows in response to a stimulus, is a typical experience during postpartum. Example: Make a priority list of turn ons that will increase your desire for sex and turn offs that could decrease your desire for sex. How it helps: Understanding and normalizing responsive desire decreases feelings of pressure or frustration. Making a list of turn ons is a way to communicate your needs around sex without having to constantly remind your partner. 5. Communicate openly to maintain intimacy What it is: Honest conversations is essential for maintaining connection—especially around parenting and postpartum. It involves expressing emotions, needs, and challenges, even when it's uncomfortable. Example: Dedicate a quiet 15-minute window during the day to sit and talk —whenever it works best for both partners. The Speaker-Listener Technique where partner speaks while the other listens without interrupting and then reflects back what they heard before switching roles. How it helps: This contained approach reduces misunderstandings, builds emotional safety, and helps both partners feel validated and heard, which can build a strong relationship. The “ dont’s ” of how to reconnect with your partner after having a child 1. Don't wait for the "perfect time." What it is: The perfect or ideal time does not exist with children or parenting; plans for intimacy or connection will be interrupted. Example: That weekend getaway or real date night are ideal for sex, yet may get cancelled because you're too sleep deprived or the kids need you. Why avoid it: The postpartum period is full of stressors —sleep deprivation, emotional shifts, identity adjustments that make ideal time rare. Having small, intentional connections are often more realistic and effective. 2. Don't expect your partner to read your mind. What it is: Assuming your partner understands or knows your needs without communication. Example: Becoming resentful after your partner doesn't handle a chore you thought was agreed on like diaper duty or laundry without properly addressing it. Why avoid it: Unspoken expectations can fuel resentment and hurt reconnection efforts. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective , we often use the Gottman Negotiating Power Handout  to help partners have open, structured conversations around needs to prevent assumptions that can lead to hurt and fighting. 3. Pretending that you're fine, when you're not fine—ignoring burnout doesn't make it disappear What it is: Masking fatigue or emotional stress for the sake of seeming "okay." Example: Saying "I'm fine" even though you're overwhelmed, then snapping at your partner, family member, or friend over minor frustrations. Why avoid it: Chronic exhaustion lowers relationship satisfaction, especially in the first postpartum year after your baby arrives. Pretending to be okay and suppressing your needs doesn't protect the relationship —it gradually creates distance. 4. Let go of expecting intimacy to look like it did before kids—it evolves What it is: Judging your current connection by how romantic or spontaneous things used to be before kids. Example: Feeling frustrated when spontaneous date nights stop and intimacy becomes less of a priority and infrequent, then holding it against your partner. Why avoid it: Parenting changes how and when we connect. Trying to force things to be like they were in the early days before kids often backfires —embracing the changes allows for deeper empathy and lasting closeness. 5. Don't avoid hard conversations for the sake of "keeping the peace" What it is: Avoiding difficult topics like parenting styles, household tasks, or emotional needs to prevent conflict. Example: Ignoring growing differences in discipline or rituals, only to blow up later over something minor. Why avoid it: Differences in parenting styles and uneven labor divisions in your marriage are common postpartum tensions. Avoidance builds emotional walls —while respectful dialogue deepens trust and collaboration. Final thoughts on how to reconnect with your partner after having children Rebuilding connection after having children doesn't happen all at once—it happens in small and consistent ways. In this post, we've explored five keys dos and don'ts to help couples move from surviving to truly feeling close again: carving out regular date nights , improving communication, naming exhaustion, rethinking intimacy, and having the hard conversations with care. Being patient and kind to each other is important while navigating the challenges of parenthood, especially when stress and exhaustion run high. Becoming parents often highlights pre-existing issues in a relationship that may have been ignored before. That’s where support can make all the difference. At  Atlanta Therapeutic Collective , we have a team of therapists trained to provide relationship tips and guidance to address the underlying sources of these patterns to improve long-term satisfaction. If you're ready to seek support, reach out to schedule a new client intake session today!

Takeaway:  If you love your boyfriend but are feeling sexually unfulfilled, you're not alone— it's normal that many couples experience this. Here, our sex therapists share their tips for rekindling both your connection and your satisfaction. "My boyfriend is amazing—thoughtful, funny, supportive, but he makes no effort in the bedroom anymore, and I’m starting to wonder if something’s wrong with me."   That’s what Janelle, 33, shared during her first session with one of our sex therapists. She isn’t alone— most women  in long-term relationships will, at some point, question why their sex life  is unsatisfactory, even when the relationship  itself seems solid. Women aren't the only ones who experience dissatisfaction in their love lives; men, trans, queer, and non-binary people can also experience the same issue. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, our expert team specializes in helping people make sense of these moments. We work with individuals and couples navigating challenges including libido, erectile dysfunction , pain with sex, masturbation, porn, and communication gaps around sex . Whether the issue is penetrative sex, lack of physical affection, low or high sex drive, you’re not alone—and there are real ways forward. In this post, you’ll learn how to reflect on your own sex drive , talk  with your partner , and explore steps to rebuild a good sex life . Why does my boyfriend not seem interested in me sexually? It’s a painful question yet common question. If you're aware of a disconnect in bed, you’re not imagining things. This is a common concern brought to therapy and there are several reasons this might be happening: Mismatched libido: Having a differing sex drive is a common problem in couples. Libido may have changed due to age, stress, or health conditions. Stress is a major factor in causing decreased libido for people of all genders. Mental health challenges: Conditions like depression, anxiety, or trauma can make people disconnect from their bodies and their relationships. This can affect sex in many ways. Stress, sleep, and lifestyle factors: High levels of stress, poor sleep, and burnout can completely kill the mood, even in healthy relationships. Performance pressure: If your boyfriend feels ashamed or anxious about his ability to perform—especially during penetrative sex or oral sex—he may withdraw to avoid embarrassment. Unspoken resentment: Sometimes, emotional disconnection shows up through body cues: less eye contact,  closed body   language, or reluctance to be physically intimate. This doesn’t mean your relationship is broken beyond repair. With reflection, discussion, and support, couples often find their way back to a satisfying connection with each other. I love my boyfriend, but I’m not sexually satisfied. What should I do? You’re in love with your boyfriend but feel unfulfilled sexually. First, take a deep breath: you are not alone, and your relationship isn’t doomed. Second, many couples experience this tension at some point. The key is understanding that love and sexual satisfaction, while related, are not always a correlation or perfectly aligned. In the sections below, we’ll explore practical, therapist-approved tips you can use to better understand yourself, open up communication, and reignite your sexual connection as a couple. Self-discovery work Before you can navigate change, it helps to get clarity on what you want and need. This section guides you through self-exploration to better understand your own sexual self. 1. Reflect on your sexual values What it is:  Understanding what you  believe about sex—its purpose, meaning, and role in your  life. Example:  Journaling on questions like, "What does sexual satisfaction mean to me?" or "What beliefs about sex did I grow up with?" How it helps:  Clarifying your values helps distinguish between unmet desires and unrealistic expectations. It also strengthens your voice in future conversations. 2. Identify your turn-ons and turn-offs What it is:  Learning what excites or inhibits your desire during intimacy. Example:  Making two lists: things that help you feel sexy and things that shut down your desire (e.g., stress, lack of foreplay, dirty dishes). How it helps:  Offers insights into patterns and opens the door to more tailored sexual experiences with your partner. 3. Assess your sexual self-esteem What it is:  Exploring how confident and worthy you feel as a sexual being. Example:  Noticing your internal dialogue when initiating sex or receiving compliments. Do you feel desirable? Safe? How it helps:  Higher sexual self-esteem often leads to more agency, pleasure, and willingness to initiate or try new things. 4. Explore your relationship with your body What it is:  Understanding how your body image impacts your willingness to engage sexually. Example:  Trying practices like mirror work, sensual movement, or yoga to reconnect with your body. How it helps :  Feeling more at home in your body makes pleasure more accessible and sustainable. 5. Examine your relationship with pleasure What it is:  Asking yourself if you allow, pursue, or feel deserving of pleasure. Example:  Reflecting on whether you rush through sex, experience guilt during sex such as with orgasm or watching porn, or prioritize your partner's needs over your own. How it helps:  Reclaiming your right to pleasure is essential to satisfaction—and often reveals hidden blocks worth addressing. Communication strategies The next step is communicating with your boyfriend. Below are tools to help you openly and constructively talk about your needs. 1. Use "I" statements What it is:  Speaking from your own experience to reduce blame. Example:  Instead of "You never touch me anymore," try "I really miss how you touch me" or "I miss our physical connection." How it helps:  Encourages your partner to stay open and engaged, rather than feeling attacked. 2. Set the tone with timing What it is:  Choosing the right moment for intimacy-related conversations. Example:  Bringing up sex during a relaxed evening walk, not after an argument or during sex itself. How it helps:  Increases the chances that your partner is emotionally available and responsive. 3. Be specific and solution-focused What it is:  Naming what you want more of rather than what you want less of. Example:  "I would love more foreplay" or "I want to have sex at least once a week." How it helps:  Gives your partner practical ways to show up and builds mutual motivation. 4. Revisit the conversation over time What it is:  Treating sexual satisfaction as an ongoing journey not a one-time fix. Example:  Scheduling monthly "intimacy check-ins" to share how things are evolving. How it helps:  Normalizes conversations and strengthens intimacy in the long run. Practical steps for couples to try together In addition to individual reflection and communication, couples can try actionable steps to reignite their connection. These activities create opportunities to rediscover each other in fun, pressure-free ways. Try a green/red/yellow list What it is:  A collaborative tool where you both indicate what activities interest you, are deal breakers, or need more discussion. Example:  Create a list of activities separately and then compare at agreed upon time. How it helps:  Sparks curiosity, expands your menu of shared pleasures, and introduces consent-focused play. Try mutual mindfulness or sensual touch exercises What it is:  Slowing down and reconnecting through nonverbal closeness. Example:  Practicing eye gazing, breathing together, or a body-mapping exercise. How it helps:  Promotes presence, empathy, and body awareness—the foundation of good sex. Explore new environments or routines What it is:  Disrupting sexual monotony by changing the setting or script. Example:  Trying sex in a different room, going away for a weekend, or using a toy. How it helps:  Novelty reactivates desire by creating excitement and new memories. Create shared rituals of affection What it is:  Building daily habits of physical closeness that aren’t goal-oriented. Example:  Morning kisses, three-minute hugs, or ending each night with gratitude. How it helps:  Fosters a safe, loving atmosphere that keeps intimacy accessible. When to consider therapy Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we hit a wall. If you've tried these strategies and are stilll stuck, seeking support from a therapist can be a game changer. Therapy provides a neutral, supportive space to explore deeper issues, improve communication, and rebuild desire. Here are signs that therapy may help: You or your partner avoid sex entirely Conversations about sex always end in conflict There is unresolved past trauma or sexual shame One or both of you feel emotionally disconnected There are mismatched libidos that are causing resentment You feel anxious, guilty, or broken around your sexual needs Therapy isn’t a last resort—it can be a proactive step toward long-term connection and healing. Final thoughts You can love your boyfriend deeply and still feel a disconnect when it comes to sex—and that’s okay. What matters most is how you respond to that disconnect. The tips above can help you reconnect with your body, explore your needs, and rebuild intimacy together with intention. But if you’re finding it hard to move forward, therapy can offer more than just coping—it can provide clarity, healing, and transformation. Act now by calling 404-850-9495 or email info@atlantatherapeuticcollective.com to schedule an intake today! Written by Gena Gordan, MSW Intern and Courtney Geter, LMFTS, CSTS

Takeaway:  Sexual rejection in a relationship can feel painful and confusing, but what does it mean when your partner rejects you sexually? I t doesn’t always mean something is wrong with you or your partner. Desire fluctuates for many reasons that we’ll explore in-depth in this blog post. Plus, we’ll share our favorite tips for navigating it effectively. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we frequently work with individuals and couples who are  dealing with sexual rejection with their sexual partner, which can often impact their self worth. Once, a client shared his feeling sexually rejected by his partner when he noticed his wife turned down his sexual advances more frequently. He wondered: Is she no longer attracted to me? Is something wrong with our marriage?  Like many in long-term relationships, he found himself grappling with feelings of feeling rejected , confusion, and even self-doubt. If you’ve been feeling sexually rejected in your relationship know that you’re not alone—and it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with you or your partner.   At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, our sex therapists, counselors, and social workers are trained in evidence-based approaches to help couples and individuals navigate these tender dynamics. In this post, we’ll explore the most common reasons a partner might reject you sexually and share practical tips you can try at home. We’ll also highlight when it might be time to seek professional help. What does it mean when your partner sexually rejects you? → 7 possible meanings Sexual rejection can feel like a blow to your self-esteem, but it often has less to do with attraction and more to do with underlying emotional, psychological, or physical issues. Below, we explore seven reasons for sexual rejection and tips for each one. 1. Your partner might be feeling emotionally distant from you. Feeling emotionally disconnected can lead to an emotional reaction that can impact a want for physical connection. What you can do: Initiate non-sexual intimacy: Plan a date night or show affection with a hug or hand-holding. Address underlying conflict: Talk through any potential tension. Cultivate emotional intimacy:  Spend time engaging in conversation or shared activities. 2. They may be experiencing performance anxiety Many men tend to feel pressure to perform during sexual activity, and if they’ve had a negative experience (like trouble maintaining arousal), they may withdraw sexually to avoid feeling worse. This fear of failure can lead them to reject their partner even when they want sex. What you can do: Normalize the conversation: Let your partner know you love them regardless of performance. Initiate sex connection without pressure:  Focus on pleasure of time together and not a goal of penetration or orgasm. 3. Their sex drive may have changed Sex drive varies from person to person and can shift due to stress, aging, hormonal changes, or health issues. According to a study by Schwenck et al. (2023),  individuals dealing with low sexual desire reported significantly more relationship strain, though this didn’t always stem from a lack of love or attraction. What you can do: Talk openly: Ask your partner if they’ve noticed changes in their desire. Therapy : Suggest sex or relationship therapy to explore these changes together. 4. They might be dealing with mental health concerns Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can lead to a decreased interest in sex. When someone feels low or overwhelmed, they may avoid intimacy altogether. What you can do: Show empathy:  Ask how they’re feeling emotionally without tying it directly to sex. Encourage help:  Your partner talking to a professional can take the strain off your relationship. 5. There may be unresolved resentment in the relationship If your partner feels unacknowledged, criticized, or hurt by something you did, they might pull away sexually, especially if there are emotionally abusive dynamics involved. Sexual rejection, in these cases, may be a symptom of deeper emotional distance. What you can do: Engage in honest communication:  Ask your partner if there’s something bothering them. Avoid hurting each other further : Prioritize active listening and conflict resolution. 6. They may be experiencing responsive rather than spontaneous desire Many people, especially women, experience what’s known as “responsive desire.” This means they might not feel sexual desire until a stimulus is provided that "turns them on." Research from Schmitt et al. (2019)  found that sexual desire is complex and influenced by both relational and situational factors. What you can do: Initiate sex with emotional connection in mind : Start with cuddling, kissing, or a sensual massage or another activity of mutual enjoyment. Set the mood:  Plan intimate time without distractions. Be patient and check in:  Ask your partner what helps them feel more connected and in the mood, and let things unfold naturally. 7. They could be unsure how to express their needs In some cases, your partner may want more sex, but not the kind of sex that’s currently happening. They may be craving more emotional connection, different physical affection, or space to explore their sexual needs. What you can do: Communicate openly:  Ask what your partner likes and doesn’t like. Explore together:  Read about sexual satisfaction or try something new. Engage in self care together:  Practice care routines that reduce negative impact When to consider therapy if you are experiencing sexual rejection While communication and compassion can go a long way, they’re not always enough to address deeper issues in a romantic relationship. Therapy can provide a space to unpack concerns and build a better relationship. Consider seeking help if: You feel hurt, inadequate, or rejected sexually for a long period You and your partner avoid talking about your sex life You suspect underlying issues like trauma or emotional abuse There’s a noticeable emotional distance or disconnect in your relationship You feel defensive or emotionally shut down when your partner rejects you sexually Our clinicians at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective specialize in helping couples rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Learn more about our sex therapy services, or contact us  to get started. Final thoughts to improve the impact of sexual rejection Experiencing sexual rejection can stir up painful emotions, but it can also be a powerful opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Many couples who engage in therapy discover that building emotional connections, having deep conversations, and practicing open communication can reignite sexual intimacy in meaningful ways. One couple we worked with were in a sexless marriage for nearly a year. The wife admitted she felt emotionally disconnected and overwhelmed with stress. The husband, who was feeling unwanted sexually in a relationship, took this as a personal rejection. Through couples therapy, they learned to communicate more honestly, as countless couples do, and rebuild both emotional intimacy and sexual connection. Today, their sex life is more satisfying than it ever was before. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we believe that everyone deserves fulfilling sexual relationships. If you’re feeling rejected sexually, or wondering what to do when your partner rejects you sexually, know that support is available. We’re here to help you reconnect, rediscover longing, and create the healthy relationship you deserve. Explore our team  to find the right therapist for you, or book a consultation  today.

Written by Dawn Quintanilla, MFT and Certified Erotic Blueprints Coach and Sex Coach Are you curious about your unique erotic desires and preferences? Do you long to deepen your intimate connections and enhance your pleasure? If so, you're not alone. Understanding your Erotic Blueprint ™ , aka sexual blueprint or sexual love language, can unlock a world of self-discovery, sexual satisfaction and intimacy in your sex life. Erotic blueprints can help you better understand your own sexual needs and preferences, as well as your partner’s. But what is a sexual blueprint? And how do you know which one you are? Get ready to embark on a journey of self-exploration and sensual fulfillment. Understanding the Erotic Blueprint ™ Types There are Five Erotic Blueprint ™ Types that were coined by Jaiya, a renowned somatic sexologist and author. Over the course of two decades, she dedicated herself to conducting body mapping studies, collaborating with a diverse range of individuals in this clinical research. It was this extensive research that ultimately inspired her to develop the comprehensive and insightful quiz that forms the core of her work. There are five primary erotic blueprint type types which Jaiya calls Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, Shapeshifter . Similar to the five love languages, except for intimacy and your sex life, each blueprint represents a unique approach to experience pleasure and arousal, offering valuable insights into our desires and preferences. Which Erotic Blueprint Type are You? To uncover your Erotic Blueprint ™ type, it is essential to explore your responses to different types of stimuli and experiences. First, pay attention to what turns you on, what excites you, and what brings you the most satisfaction. Next, reflect on your preferences for tease and anticipation (Energetic type), sensory pleasure (Sensual type), explicit sexual acts (Sexual type), taboo exploration and power play (Kinky type), or versatility and adaptation (Shapeshifter type). Here is a more detailed breakdown of each type: The Energetic Type The Energetic Blueprint is characterized by a profound love for tease, anticipation, and yearning in the realm of sexuality. Individuals with this blueprint find pleasure in the desire itself, cherishing the sensation of wanting. They often require what could be termed "pre-foreplay," such as eye contact, flirting, and deep emotional connection, to fully engage their desires. This blueprint challenges the misconception that sex is solely about intercourse, as it highlights the significance of emotional and mental connection in the realm of eroticism. Energetic's shadow is that they are highly sensitive to arousal changes and can get triggered easily during sex. The Sensual Type The Sensual type thrives when all five senses – smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound – are ignited, creating an immersive and captivating experience during sexual play. These individuals prioritize a heart connection before engaging in sexual activities, valuing emotional intimacy. Foreplay centered around the senses is their forte, as they find immense pleasure in sensory exploration. However, their shadow sides may involve being turned off by intense sensation, unpleasant smells, loud noises, or a disorderly environment, highlighting the importance of a sensory-rich and harmonious atmosphere for their desires to flourish. The Sexual Type The Sexual blueprint aligns with conventional notions of a sex life, finding arousal in body parts, genital touch and genital stimulation, skin-to-skin contact, orgasmic pleasure, and often emphasizing intercourse. These individuals are strongly attuned to physical sensations. However, their shadow side can manifest as a belief that their approach to sex is the only correct way, potentially leading to judgment of alternative preferences. Balancing open-mindedness with their passionate desires is key for a harmonious sexual connection. The Kinky Type The Kinky Blueprint finds its arousal in the realm of taboo and edgy experiences, often embracing power dynamics, erotic fantasies, impact play, and creative explorations. For these individuals, the unconventional is where pleasure resides. Yet, the shadow side can involve grappling with shame, both internal and external, which requires careful self-exploration and communication to fully embrace their desires in a healthy and respectful manner. The Shapeshifter Blueprint Type The Shapeshifter embodies a vast capacity for pleasure, often labeled as the "hedonist," imparting a celebration of life's pleasures to other blueprints. Their sexual experiences encompass elements from all the different blueprints, making them incredibly versatile. However, their shadow involves navigating the challenges associated with various blueprint shadows, and they may encounter feelings of being "too much," both from within and from external sources. Balancing their diverse desires with self-acceptance is key for a fulfilling journey of pleasure. Discovering Your Erotic Blueprint ™ The Erotic Blueprints™ Quiz is a unique tool designed to help individuals explore their sexual preferences and desires in both a structured and holistic way. By taking the quiz, you gain insight into which of the five erotic blueprints - Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, or Shapeshifter - resonates most with your own desires and turn-ons. This knowledge can be a powerful catalyst for self-discovery and improving your intimate relationships. Whether you're looking to enhance communication with your partner, understand your own desires more deeply, or simply explore your sexuality, the Erotic Blueprints™ quiz offers a valuable starting point on your journey to sexual fulfillment. You can access the Erotic Blueprints™ quiz through the following link here. Benefits of the Erotic Blueprint Framework In the ever-evolving landscape of human sexuality, understanding our desires, needs, and preferences is essential for cultivating deep connections and fostering a fulfilling intimate life. The blueprints offer a captivating framework that delves into the diverse ways individuals experience and express themselves sexually. Whether you are seeking to deepen intimacy, enrich your relationships, or simply gain a deeper understanding of your own desires, the Erotic Blueprints™ hold the key. Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance Exploring the Erotic Blueprints™ can be a profound journey of self-discovery. By identifying which blueprint resonates with you the most, you gain insights into your unique sexual identity. This self-awareness fosters self-acceptance, helping you embrace your desires without judgment. Recognizing that your preferences are valid and natural can boost your self-esteem and overall well-being. Effective Communication Understanding your own Erotic Blueprint™ empowers you to effectively communicate your desires to your partner(s). Open conversations about your turn-ons, fantasies, and boundaries become more accessible when you have a clear framework to express your needs. This heightened communication can strengthen emotional bonds, create shared experiences, and lead to more fulfilling intimate connections. Deepened Intimacy Intimacy flourishes when partners are attuned to each other's Erotic Blueprints™. By recognizing and respecting your partner's sexual style, you can tailor experiences that align with their preferences. This not only demonstrates care and consideration for sexual partners, but also leads to deeper emotional connections, as you embark on a journey of exploring each other's desires and fantasies. Enhanced Pleasure The Erotic Blueprints™ pave the way to unprecedented pleasure. When you understand what arouses you most, you can create experiences that resonate with your desires. Whether it's teasing, erotic play, sensory exploration, explicit sexual acts, kinks, or versatile encounters, aligning your experiences with your blueprint can lead to heightened satisfaction and intense pleasure. Overcoming Misconceptions and Judgments By embracing the Erotic Blueprints™, you challenge societal misconceptions and judgments about what constitutes a fulfilling sex life. Each blueprint offers a unique path to pleasure, dismantling stereotypes and demonstrating the richness of human sexuality. This framework allows you to celebrate your desires and preferences, fostering a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of sexuality. The Erotic Blueprints™ offer a comprehensive map for navigating the landscape of human sexuality. By embracing this framework, you can uncover your desires, communicate effectively, deepen intimacy, enhance pleasure, and challenge stereotypes. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sexuality; each blueprint is a valid expression of desire. Embrace your unique Erotic Blueprint™ and embark on a journey of exploration, connection, and unabashed pleasure. Limitations of Erotic Blueprints While the Erotic Blueprint framework offers valuable insights into human sexual experiences, it's important to recognize that no system is without its limitations. As we delve into the diverse world of erotic desires, it's crucial to be aware of potential drawbacks that might arise when using this framework. As we explore the potential limitations of the Erotic Blueprint framework, it's important to approach it with an open and balanced perspective. While it offers a valuable tool for self-discovery and communication, it should not be the sole determinant of one's sexual identity. Fluidity of Desires Over Time Desires are not static; they can evolve and change over time due to various life circumstances, experiences, and personal growth. What might resonate as a primary Erotic Blueprint™ at one point in life might shift to another primary type later on. Relying solely on a fixed blueprint might not account for the fluidity of desires and the adaptability of our erotic identities. Neglecting Emotional Complexity The framework emphasizes a spectrum of physical desires, potentially overshadowing the emotional complexities that often intertwine with human intimacy. Emotional connection, vulnerability, and psychological aspects play a significant role in sexual experiences, and focusing solely on the physical aspect might neglect the holistic nature of intimate connections. Over-emphasis on Blueprint as Identity While understanding your Erotic Blueprint™ can be empowering, it's essential to remember that it's just one facet of your sexual identity. Relying too heavily on this framework might lead to individuals defining themselves solely through their blueprint, potentially overlooking other aspects that contribute to their unique sexuality and personal growth. Recognizing the fluidity of desires, the complexity of human sexuality, and the need for holistic understanding ensures that the framework is used as a stepping stone, rather than a rigid mold, on the journey of sexual exploration and self-awareness. Sex coaching can give you the customized support you need to truly understand yourself. Guiding Your Sexual Exploration: A Unique Approach to Sex Coaching Embarking on a journey of sexual exploration and self-discovery can be both exhilarating and daunting. At times, it's valuable to have a supportive guide who can help you navigate the intricacies of your desires and provide tailored insights. This is where sex coaching comes into play. Our approach to sex coaching is grounded in a holistic understanding of your desires, needs, and aspirations, taking into account the Erotic Blueprints™ as well as broader aspects of your identity. Through personalized guidance and open communication, we aim to enrich your sexual journey in ways that extend beyond the insights gained from the Erotic Blueprint quiz alone. Unlocking Deeper Insights Through Sex Coaching While the Erotic Blueprint quiz provides a valuable starting point, sex coaching offers a more comprehensive and personalized experience. Our approach goes beyond labeling your blueprint; it delves into the nuances of your desires, taking into consideration your unique life experiences, emotional triggers, and relationship dynamics. By working with a sex and relationship coach first, you can gain a deeper understanding of how your blueprint interacts with your broader identity, helping you navigate any challenges or questions that arise. Tailored Guidance for Your Journey Sex coaching provides a safe and non-judgmental space to discuss your desires, concerns, and curiosities. Whether you're seeking to strengthen communication with your partner, explore new facets of intimacy, or address specific challenges, our coaching approach is centered around your individual needs. We create a customized roadmap that aligns with your goals, helping you integrate the insights from the Erotic Blueprints™ into your unique context. Embark on Your Journey If you're intrigued by the idea of delving deeper into your desires and enriching your intimate connections, we invite you to take the next step. Schedule a coaching consultation with our certified erotic blueprint coach today! Remember, sexual exploration is a personal voyage, and having a knowledgeable and compassionate guide can make all the difference. Contact us today to schedule your free consultation and embark on a path of self-discovery, connection, and profound pleasure.

Written by Amanda Gleason, MFT Sex counselors, sex and intimacy coaches, sex and sexuality educators, sex therapists...what is the difference between them, and do I need one?! We have all experienced relationship problems, but rarely do people take the time to reflect on how human sexuality, physical contact, or how their sex lives impact them. Struggles with intimacy are very common. The good news is that they’re also treatable. Sex and intimacy coaches are trained professionals that can help you navigate these issues and enjoy your sex life again. Keep reading as we break down everything you need to know about certified sex coaches so you can make an informed decision. We'll begin by tackling the basics of what sex coaching is and who is a certified sex coach. Then we'll learn about credentials for sex coaches and why this is important. Next, we'll dive into what you can expect from a sex coach, and what the process may look like for you. Sex Coaching 101: Understanding the Basics "I'm struggling with sexual and emotional intimacy; I don't feel connected to my partner." "We have sex problems because of our differing sexual desires after having kids." "I want to be a better lover; my partner doesn't enjoy sex." If you've ever suffered similar relationship or sexual problems before, you know how difficult it can be to talk to someone. These are a few examples of issues that sex coaches face on a regular basis. Sex coaches focus on your relationship goals, helping you develop a stronger emotional connection with your partner, and work as your co-creator to address personal sex issues. What is a sex coach? A sex coach can come in a variety of forms. However, most sex coaches work with a person to achieve their personal sex goals, whether that involves developing emotional intimacy, creating a fulfilling sex life, developing a better understanding of sexual anatomy, or even tackling issues such as performance anxiety. What's in a name? Sex coaches can also be go by sex and intimacy coaches (or intimacy coaching) or sexuality coach. Some sex coaches also provide relationship coaching and go by relationship coach. Some coaches combine their work such as relationship and sex coach or sex and intimacy coach. Sex positive Sex coaches are sex-positive, and work to create a safe space within the clinical experience so that their clients achieve the personal growth they desire. Discussing sexual issues can make a person feel embarrassed or uncomfortable; therefore, sex coaches strive to create an environment of non-judgment and understanding. The goal may be to guide or teach individuals to be (their version of) better lovers, with control of their sex lives or a better idea of sexual satisfaction. Sometimes this includes defining intimacy or having the courage to discuss their deepest desires. A coach teaches a person how to regain control of their sexual experience. What kind of credentials do sex coaches have? Sex coaches can have a wide range of education and experience. Currently, there is no regulation for any type of coaching. Some coaches come with years of clinical and hands-on experience, a graduate degree, and a license to practice therapy or counseling. Other coaches may have a bachelor's degree or no degree at all. Some coaches are members of national associations or are certified as a coach. However, it is important that a sex coach understand basic human sexual health and sexuality. The coaches at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective all have advanced graduate degrees and/or additional certifications in human sexuality, human sexual health, and sexual and relationship issues. Many of our coaches are a trained and licensed therapist with sex therapy training. Several of our coaches are also certified sex therapists and hold membership in the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Anyone may refer to themselves as a sex coach or sex counselor, so be sure to inquire about degrees, credentials, and experience. Check out Atlanta Therapeutic Collective's coaching and sex counseling services for more information about our sex coaches! Sex coaching is not sex therapy There is a difference between a sex therapy and a sex coach. A sex therapist is licensed therapist trained to provide intensive mental health treatment. A licensed therapist holds a master's degree in therapy or mental health counseling. A therapist can provide coaching skills to clients though a coach not licensed as a therapist cannot provide therapy. Sex therapy often treats sexual trauma or PTSD, abuse, high conflict couples or relationships, or medical conditions impacting sexual functioning or relationship satisfaction. These conditions can not be treated in coaching. Sex therapists will use evidence-based research to address underlying concerns. Therapy involves building emotional regulation and processing traumatic events while sex coach teaches a comprehensive sex education and sexual skills to create change. Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, a private practice in Atlanta, provides both sex therapy and coaching services. Decide which option best suits your needs and reach out to book your appointment! What to expect from the sex coaching process The process of talk based sex coaching may look different for everyone! First, don't compare your coaching experience with anyone else's experience! A sex coaching session can range from covering basic general sex ed to sexual practices and sexual skills to an understanding of sexual issues like premature ejaculation, sexual desire, or how erotic massage can enhance a relationship and improve sexual experiences. The first session sets your coaching experience up for success! First, you and your coach will discuss goals for coaching and create a coaching plan with specific outcomes. Next, your coach will begin to use their knowledge and expertise to guide you through a personalized coaching process that is meant to meet your specific and unique needs as an individual. What happens in a sex coaching session? Once you create your coaching plan and set your goals, it's time to start making change happen! Many sex coaches start with sex education or address common sexual problems or relationship issues to first validate that your concerns are real and most likely common! Next, sex coaches will provide tools or suggestions for you to use at home in order to meet your goals and improve your sexual experiences! Sex Education Most people don't receive a comprehensive education on human sexuality. Therefore, in order to increase your sexual intelligence and improve your sex life, we must understand sex including how our bodies work and how our partner's bodies work. Understanding sex also means understanding how medical conditions, medication, and life events intersect with our sexual experience. If you are like many people, the sex ed that you received in school (if you received any at all!) was probably clinical and abstinence-based. In other words, most school based sex ed teaches the negative aspects of sex and tells children not to have sex or "bad things will happen." Learning about sex with a coach is fun and creative! Our sex coaches will often use different styles of media, art, video, books, and workbooks to teach individuals about sex. Our sex coaches also create a safe environment for clients to ask questions about sex. Let's take a look at one model that sex coaches use: The PLISSIT model This model was created for the purpose of improving sexual conversations by professionals sexuality educators/providers and their clients/patients. It normalizes sex and intimacy conversations and allows for a comfortable way to approach the topics desired. PLISSIT stands for: Permission- The sex coach will work to give the client permission to discuss issues by normalizing and creating a safe, sex-positive environment. Limited Information- The sex coach will give specific and limited information about the client's concerns and related information. Specific Suggestions- Once a full evaluation or assessment has been conducted (verbally) with the client, a sex coach will offer suggestions based on their issues. Intensive Therapy- If required, the coach will refer clients to a higher level of care, which would likely be a certified sex therapist who is trained and educated to handle more serious mental health issues. Sex coaching only involves the steps listed in the PLISS portion of PLISSIT. You can see that it is led at the client's pace, with a focus on education. Now this doesn't sound too intimidating, but what does a sex coach do with it? Who can benefit from working with a sex coach? All are welcome! Sex coaching can benefit anyone interested in improving areas of their sex life or intimacy by expanding their knowledge or exploring their sexual energy. Due to the nature of the process being catered to the client, a sex coach can see a person of any gender, race, or sexuality. Sex coaches should be aware of differences that these factors can cause for individuals, and should make sure to carefully consider cultural differences or minority groups who have faced marginalization when it comes to sexual health education. Sex is for everyone, sexual health matters, and anyone interested can benefit from working with a sex coach. Sex coaching can help you put your sexual wellness first Now that we are better informed on what a sex coach is, what credentials they might have, and what happens during a session, let's reiterate how it can help you personally. Whether you want to give more attention to your dating skills, be a more hands on-on partner, or dive into what intimacy means to you, we encourage you to consider first taking a sex-positive approach. This is especially true for those who feel sexually marginalized or carry shame associated with their sexuality. Sexual health professionals work to establish a safe place and use their knowledge to work alongside you and advocate for your wellness. If you feel your questions and needs can be met by speaking with a sex educator or coach, they can provide you with education specific to you, a safe place to explore your sexual thoughts or desires, and can help you reach your intimacy or sex goals!

It can be frustrating, confusing, and hurtful when your partner no longer seems interested in you. However, this doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. In this post, we’ll explore reasons why there might be a sexual disconnect with your partner, as well as our top tips for what to do when your husband doesn’t want you sexually anymore. Why doesn’t my husband want to have sex with me? There are few things more painful than rejection, and it can be doubly painful when that rejection comes from your partner – and involves sex. If you’ve put the time and effort to create a healthy sex life and your husband doesn’t want to be intimate, it can feel like he doesn't want you. You might even jump to conclusions and assume the worst such as "he’s lost interest in me," "he’s cheating," or "I'll have a sexless marriage." There are many reasons why a man may not initiate sex or want sex anymore in your relationship – and surprisingly, most of them have nothing to do with you! Some of the most painful reasons that could cool a man's sex drive have nothing to do with his partner. Whenever there’s a big change in libido, it’s important to rule out medical issues before blaming yourself or suspecting him of the worst. Low libido is a common side effect for several medical conditions, and certain medications also have sexual side effects. Other potential reasons your partner may not want to be intimate with you could include stress, mental health issues, or relationship issues. Any of these could explain your recent decline in intimacy. Physical problems Erectile dysfunction can be both a primary medical condition and also a side effect of a medical condition or medication. Erectile dysfunction, or ED, impacts men of all ages, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status, as well as men with no to little health issues and men with chronic health conditions. Types of erectile dysfunction (ED) includes inability to obtain or maintain erection, inability or difficulty with ejaculation, delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation. Erectile dysfunction can also include painful erections, painful ejaculation, or painful penetrative sex. Other conditions related to the male anatomy include prostate issues including prostatitis, which is an inflammation of the prostate gland. Prostatitis can occur due to bacteria infecting the prostrate due to another medical issue such as an urinary track infection. These forms of prostatitis are often treated with medications. Prostatitis can also occur due to chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS). Unfortunately, pelvic pain is mostly associate with women and often overlooked in men. Many men often see several medical providers and experience intense pain or discomfort before finding a medical doctor or pelvic floor specialist that understands and can help treat CPPS. Low testosterone (low T) is another reason some men experience low sex drive or your husband avoids sex. Low testosterone often occurs in older men though has been seen in younger men at times. Naturally, as men age, testosterone levels slowly decrease; therefore, it's common for men to experience a natural decline in sexual desire with age. Testosterone levels also have a normal range; there is a medical concern when T-levels fall outside of this range or if the testosterone levels suddenly decrease with no known cause. Other medical conditions, such as diabetes, brain injuries or spinal cord injuries, can also impact sexual arousal and sexual desire. The Amercian Diabetes Association states that low sexual desire is common with diabetic men and often impacts them more than their peers who don't have diabetes. Diabetes can also lower testosterone levels or damage the nerve and vascular system which is needed for erection. However, the ADA states that proper management of diabetes can improve erectile functioning. Sex can begin either in the brain via "...psychological sexual sensations such as sexual thoughts, sights, smells, or sounds that turn you on sexually," or from stimulation of the genital area. When sexually aroused through psychological sources, the brain sends messages through the nervous system that allow for sexual desires, sexual arousal, and sexual functioning. This source of stimulation is often easier to maintain than physical stimulation to the genital area only. Spinal cord or brain trauma or injury can create various sexual side effects depending on the severity of the injury and where in the brain or spinal cord the injury occurred. Medications Medications can do so much to improve and lengthen our lives, yet, they often come with tradeoffs including a lower desire for sex. Some of the most common medications known for this effect include SSRI and SNRI antidepressants, beta-blockers like atenolol, and corticosteroids, including Prednisone. Many medications used to treat prostate conditions are also notorious for having patients not wanting sex. Medication to treat hypertension or high blood pressure can also cause ED including inability or trouble obtaining an erection. If your husband is experiencing side effects after starting a medication, encourage him to discuss with the prescribing doctor or his pharmacist. Prescribed medication should not be stopped without medical advice to prevent any further medical conditions or side effects from occuring including fatality. Stress If you ask any sexual health professional, they will often tell you that stress is a top killer for one's sex life. Stress at work, in your family, or anywhere else in life can have unpredictable impacts on our well-being. Big life changes like a new job, a move, wedding planning, or family drama can all cause stress. Stress can come from relationship problems whether in your romantic relationship, a friendship, or family relationship problems. Even minor and temporary stressors like a lack of sleep or disruption to routine can lead to a decrease in sex drive. Stress activates our sympathetic nervous system which is our fight, flight, or freeze response. In this state, the brain is on high alert with the main goal to stay alive and healthy. While in this state, many bodily functions significantly slow down including digestion and elimination while other functions to keep us alive activate including an increase in hearing and sight. Optimally, when the brain realizes the threat is gone, it is able to switch back to the parasympathetic nervous system which is the rest an relax response where we are able to feel calm and resume bodily functions to keep us healthy. However, some people never switch out of the "stay alive" system and their brain remains "on alert for a longer period of time including days to months to years. Sex is a function that often occurs in the "rest and relax" system. When one is on high alert, their brain sees no reason for sexual connection or sexual activity. According to Drs. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, the main reason stress can have such damaging impact on a person is that we often don't end the stress cycle. Doing activities to end the stress cycle, such as exercise, dancing, laughing, yelling, tells the brain that it is safe to resume normal functioning. The caveat here is that sex, is also a form of exercise! Therefore, if one can initiate sex while under stress, they are not only finding a way to end the stress cycle but they are also meeting sexual needs for himself and his partner! Depression and anxiety Stress is not the same as depression or anxiety, even though they often go hand-in-hand. A loss of interest in sex or low desire can be a symptom of either depression or anxiety. Sometimes, these are just unpleasant and fleeting feelings, but in other situations, they are chronic conditions. Sometimes depression and anxiety can occur for some time after an adverse event such as witnessing or experiencing something upsetting, especially if they have intrusive thoughts of the event. Some men also experience performance anxiety with sex. Sexual performance anxiety can occur with just one bad experience with sex. This then leads to anticipatory anxiety with the thought of sexual contact or even the possibility of sex. Anxiety is a form of stress which activates the sympathetic nervous system leading to difficulty with sex. Depression and anxiety can be serious conditions that, when they hit a clinical threshold, justify intervention from a professional. Relationship problems Even if he’s not depressed or anxious, there might be other problems in his life. If you can rule out physical and mental health issue, it might be time to critically examine your relationship and explore if the source of sexual issues stems from the relationship. Big fights might have an impact for a long time, and even positive events, like becoming parents, could require both partners to reframe how intimacy and sex will exist in their relationship. Perhaps the other partner (that is, you) is suffering from depression or anxiety, and this has impacted his desire for sex, or maybe neither of you is prioritizing the relationship and spending time together. Sexual Satisfaction or Sexual Attraction This is such a sensitive topic though a topic that must be explored and discussed. At times, some partners experience a loss of sexual satisfaction and/or a loss of sexual attraction to their current partner. Sexual dissatisfaction can occur for many reasons including boredom with the current sexual activity in the relationship and differences of sexual desires or sexual behaviors. If you have been with your partner for several years and sexual activity remains the same, it might be time to "spice things up" a bit to add variety. Sexual attraction, in a long term relationship or any relationship, can also change. Some people find sexual desire and arousal from an emotional connection with another person while some find sexual desire and arousal from a physical appearance of a person. If sexual attraction is the source of a decline in your sex life, it is highly suggested that you and your husband meet with a sex therapist where you can have open and honest conversation in a supportive environment. My husband has lost interest in me sexually: What should I do? If your husband is suffering from something that he’s embarrassed about, his lack of interest in sex may seem like a natural response to a combination of shame and the symptoms of a disorder. Regardless of what kind of problem it is, few people want to have sex if they’re feeling lousy. What affects your husband will, inadvertently, affect you too. We're now going to find strategies for what to do when husband doesn't want you sexually anymore. Tips for how to deal when your husband doesn't want sex It can feel gutting or like your are dying inside if your partner has lost interest in you sexually, even if the reason has nothing to do with you. You might feel ashamed, frustrated, embarrassed, angry, jealous, or insecure. Learning the physical, emotional, or other reasons for a decline in intimacy may provide more context for your partner seeming to lose sexual interest, but knowing why it is happening versus knowing how to respond to the situation are two different things. You might not be able to change the reasons why your husband doesn’t want sex with you, but you can control what you do in response to it. Self-care The most important thing to do if your husband doesn't want you anymore is to validate your own feelings. This is a tough situation, so let yourself feel what you need to feel, whether it’s grief, or frustration, or embarrassment. Take some time by yourself and work with those emotions: Draw or paint. Write in your journal. Go for a run. Give yourself what you’re not getting from your partner right now through a variety of sensory experiences. Gather your village Don't be afraid to lean on your support system. Your best friend exists for a time like this. Even if you don’t get into the nitty-gritty of your sex life with them, they can provide fun, distraction, and validation. A therapist can be part of this village too. Let yourself feel sexy If your partner doesn't want to have sex with you anymore, this could be a good occasion to do something counterintuitive: Go out for a night on the town. You don’t need to go crazy, just go out somewhere where you might meet new people: A cocktail party, dance class, nightclub, or concert would all work well. Stay safe, and don’t do anything regrettable or outside the bounds of your relationship. The point is not to make your partner jealous, but to restore your confidence and self esteem. So let yourself feel sexy. Be reflexive Many people who experience a partner’s zero interest in sex tend to blame themselves, the other person or both. The truth is never that simple, and when you’re ready, think critically about the events in the relationship and what you could have done differently – as well as what your partner did. Don’t fixate on what you could or should have done, but instead use these thoughts to develop strategies for navigating the next challenge in your relationship. My husband has low sexual desire: How else can we connect? You already know that sex is not the only way to connect. Once you’ve settled into a routine in your life and in your relationship, it can be easy to forget that you once connected with your partner in a non-sexual way. If you’re having trouble with intimacy, you can still find other ways to connect and bond. Couples therapy is one solution, but it may not provide much time to bond or connect in a low-pressure, fun, and lighthearted way. This could be a good time to explore hobbies and interests together, or even to try and bring back the romance from the early days of your relationship. Not everything has to be serious or heavy, either – you can have lots of fun connecting without sex. How to bond with your partner without sex You might find that bonding with your partner without sex can be even sexier than bonding with sex! Try some of the following strategies. Think about what drew you to your partner in the first place. What activities helped you connect with him before you had a sexual relationship? Revisit your old haunts This might be a good time to revisit those spots where you had your first dates. Go back to the first restaurant you ate at together, or revisit your old college bar (hey, maybe this time you won’t get carded). Make something together Physical contact isn't the only way to be intimate. Home or creative projects can be fun too. Take this time to finally get around to a house project you’ve wanted to do for a long time, like building a garden bed, installing that kitchen backsplash, or something else that improves the home you share together. Do something to help the world together Volunteer work is rewarding in many ways. What do you care about as a couple? Give some time to a cause you care about. Whether you’re cleaning up a park, feeding the hungry, or walking adoptable dogs, you can connect over making the world a better place, together, and this will rebuild your intimacy. Have a movie night Snuggle on the couch with some popcorn. See how many lines you’ve memorized from your favorite flicks or hug each other during scary scenes. A fun evening like this can give you something else to focus on besides your relationship, and chances are, the problems of the characters in the movies you watch are much more serious than yours! Learn a new language together Rebuilding intimacy is a process. Love is a language. Why not combine the two and try the process of learning something new, like a language? Pick one that neither of you knows, or that is spoken in a place you’d love to travel to someday and try it together using Duolingo or even a formal class. Do some of your bucket list activities You don’t have to go on a skydiving date (unless that's your thing!), but much of our regrets come from our assumption that we will have forever to do the things that intrigue us, and the reality that we do not. Many of the things we want to do reflect who we want to be, and our best selves, so there’s nobody better to do these things with than your partner. You can try something new and dramatic, or just something you’ve been meaning to do but putting off, like horseback riding, or trying a new restaurant, or visiting your dad’s hundred-year-old aunt who lives two hours away. Therapy can help your sex life Therapy can be used for many different reasons; some come to therapy during a crisis and they need immediate resources or tools to manage the crisis. Others come to therapy as a way to learn more about themselves and grow as a person. Couples come to therapy save their relationship or find ways to ensure their relationship continues to grow. Individual or couples therapy can both be beneficial when experiencing sexual desire issues. Many begin to realize they are not on the same page as their partner when it comes to sex or the definition of sex. Clients also begin to define what sex means to them and how these needs have been or have not been met in the relationship. Often times, people realize that a low sex drive is just a symptom of other mental health or relationship concerns. They then begin working to work on improving the overall health of themself and the relationship. When looking for a sex therapist, be sure to find out their training background and how they are connected in the field. A reputable sex therapist will have extensive training in sexuality and sex therapy as well as have mentored under a seasoned sex therapist. They will also continue their training throughout their career. The therapists at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective are either certified by The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or are completing their training under the guidance of a certified sex therapist. It's also important that your sex therapist has training in working with couples and relationships as this will help them understand how to support your relationship. Many of the therapists at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective are also marriage and family therapists who have trained to work with all relationship structures including monogamy and non-monogamy. References Berezowsky, J. (1979). Intimacy, individuation, and marriage. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 13(2). Burns, A. (1984). Perceived causes of marriage breakdown and conditions of life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 551–562. Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. (2010). Marriage in the new millennium: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 630–649. Greil, W., Horvath, A., Sassim, N., Erazo, N., & Grohmann, R. (2001). Disinhibition of libido: An adverse effect of SSRI? Journal of Affective Disorders, 62(3), 225–228. Hallowell, E. M., Hallowell, S., & Orlov, M. (2010). Married to distraction: Restoring intimacy and strengthening your marriage in an age of interruption. Ballantine Books. Harvey, J. H., & Omarzu, J. (1997). Minding the close relationship. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1(3), 224–240. Josephs, L., Hall, K. S., & Binik, Y. M. (2020). Restoring Trust and Sexual Intimacy after Infidelities. In Principles and Practices of Sex Therapy. Guildford Press. Margolin, L., & White, L. (1987). The continuing role of physical attractiveness in marriage. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 21–27. McCarthy, B., & McCarthy, E. (2013). Rekindling desire. Routledge. Montejo-Gonzalez, A. L., Llorca, G., Izquierdo, J. A., Ledesma, A., Bouso o, M., Calcedo, A., Carrasco, J. L., Ciudad, J., Daniel, E., & De la Gandara, J. (1997). SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction: Fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, and fluvoxamine in a prospective, multicenter, and descriptive clinical study of 344 patients. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 23, 176–194. Schover, L. R., & LoPiccolo, J. (1982). Treatment effectiveness for dysfunctions of sexual desire. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 8(3), 179–197. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926238208405821 Winton, M. A. (2000). The Medicalization of Male Sexual Dysfunctions: An Analysis of Sex Therapy Journals. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 25(4), 231–239. https://doi.org/10.1080/01614576.2000.11074355 Yehuda, R., Lehrner, A. M. Y., & Rosenbaum, T. Y. (2015). PTSD and sexual dysfunction in men and women. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(5), 1107–1119. Contributed by Turk Al Jallah, MSW Intern and Courtney Geter, LMFT-S, CST-S

Sex therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Different people (and different relationships) need different things, so it’s important to find a therapist and a treatment method that’s the right fit for you. In this post, we’ll break down everything you need to know about the various types of sex therapy: what they are, who they’re for, and their unique benefits. What is Sex Therapy? Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy or "talk therapy." Sex therapy became popular in the 1950's when Dr. William Masters and Virginia E Johnson began working with couples experiencing sexual dysfunction or relationship concerns connected to sex. Since then, the field of sex therapy has grown to address a variety of concerns that clients experience around sex and sexuality. No matter the reason you seek sex therapy, a sex therapist will often start with a review of your sexual history, gather information about your current sexual challenges or concerns, discuss your goals for treatment, and provide their feedback for treatment options. The next section will discuss reasons for sex therapy and common methods used by sex therapists. Different Types of Sex Therapy Individual vs Relationship Therapy Just like traditional talk therapy, one decides whether they are needing individual therapy or relationship therapy with a partner(s). Individual therapy, or solo sex therapy, focuses on a person's personal sexual concerns to improve sexual function and experience; whereas, relationship sex therapy focuses on addressing sexual concerns between partners to improve relationship and sexual satisfaction. Painful intercourse Many people experience painful intercourse or pain with penetration. There is a wide assumption that painful sex is a women's sexual health issue. However, painful sex can occur with vaginal penetration and anal penetration. People of all gender identities and sexual orientation can experience painful sex. Signs or symptoms of painful sex are inability to achieve penetration, pain with penetration, pain during sexual intercourse, and tightness in the abdominal, butt, or back during intercourse. The pain can feel dull, fiery, sharp, or tight. Painful sex can begin at the onset of sexual activity or after years of sexual activity. Painful sex can be treated in both individual therapy and relationship therapy as it creates challenges in experiencing a fulfilling sex life on the individual and relationship level. Painful sex can also be a medical condition and treatment is in conjunction with other medical providers. Your sex therapist will be able to provide you information about your specific needs. Erectile Dysfunction There are many forms of erectile dysfunction, or ED, including difficulty obtaining or maintaining erection, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. Similar to painful intercourse, sex therapy addressing ED can be treated in both individual and/or relationship therapy. ED has several causes and can impact individuals and relationships in many different ways. A thorough assessment will help your therapist offer treatment options. Gender Identity In recent years, a newer niche has formed in the sex therapy field. Often, you'll hear a therapist refer to themselves as a gender therapist or offering gender therapy. Gender therapy provides support for clients exploring or evolving their gender identity. This type of therapy provides a supportive space for clients to be their authentic self without shame or criticism. Many sex therapists can provide gender therapy while also treating other sexual health concerns and changes in relationship with an evolving or transitioning identity. Sexual Trauma Sexual trauma occurs in many forms including sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual shame, religious trauma, intimate partner violence, and racial or cultural trauma. Unfortunately, many people experience more than one of these in their lifetime. Sexual trauma can be direct or indirect. A direct trauma is something that happens to you whereas an indirect trauma is something you are aware of or witnessed. Sexual trauma can also happen at any age and to any gender identity or sexual orientation. Sexual trauma can be occur from strangers or people we know in our lives. Sexual trauma can not only impact the individual but it can also impact a person's relationship with an intimate partner, friendships, and family relationships. Although therapy can help in recovery of trauma, if you are currently in an abusive relationship or experiencing abuse, immediate resources are available to you. Methods Used in Sex Therapy Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT CBT is a common approach in sex therapy that helps clients identify negative thoughts around sexuality and how these thoughts impact their sexual behavior and experiences. CBT is often a shorter term modality that addresses present issues instead of resolving concerns or experiences in the past. The goal is to change one's thoughts or perspective in order to create a behavior change. CBT, often, involves behavioral exercises at home. Solution Focused Therapy Solution focused therapy (SFT) is another shorter term modality with the goal to focus on what is currently working and doing more of what works. SFT does not focus on negative experiences and, often, encourages the client to only focus and speak about what is working. SFT is often used in sex therapy to treat a variety of sexual dysfunction including anxiety with sex or differing sexual desires between partners. PLISSIT PLISSIT stands for Permission, Limited Information, Specific Suggestions, and Intensive Therapy. Permission is first, and foremost, the therapist modeling consent by asking permission from the client and also giving the client permission to seek information. For some clients, just being given permission to be who they are or enjoy sexual activities is enough. Limited Information information is what most clients need when experiencing sexual problems and seeking sexual therapy. Limited information provides the client with information around a certain area of human sexuality. For instance, a client seeking therapy due to low sexual desire may be informed that sexual desire ranges from person to person. Specific Suggestions is when a client needs more than just education around sexual health and they need suggestion on how to improve their sexual concerns. Specific suggestions are often provided when a sexual dysfunction occurs and is often an exercise done by the client at home. Intensive Therapy is provided to a small percentage of clients and only needs to be provide by a licensed sex therapist or licensed psychologist. Intensive therapy is often provided when there is a history of trauma or psychological symptoms that impact a client from daily functioning. Erotic Blueprints (TM) What some refer to as the sexual love languages, the Erotic Blueprints (TM) addresses a wide variety of sexual issues and sexual dysfunctions. It ultimately focuses on increasing sexual desire and intimacy in the relationship to improve sexual health and sexual satisfaction. Erotic Blueprints (TM) focuses on five different types of sexual intimacy: Energetic which loves tease, anticipation and yearning. Sensual which are turned on by taste, smell, touch, and sound. Sexual which have high libidos and love anything to do with physical body parts and orgasms. Kinky who are often folks are turned on by the "taboo" or "edgy." Shapeshifter which loves everything and anything and are turned on by all the blueprints. The Erotic Blueprints (TM) are often used in mindfulness based sex therapy. Sex therapists who incorporate the Erotic Blueprints (TM) have found the method beneficial in individual and relationship therapy treating sexual dysfunction to help decrease sexual problems while improving sexual well being and relationship satisfaction. This is achieved due to the sex therapist being able to educate and somatically help clients apply tools and techniques to their own bodies. Sensate Focus Sensate focus was created by Dr. William Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and has become a popular method to use with couples in sex therapy. However, over the years, therapists have found ways to incorporate sensate focus into individual therapy and therapy with multiple partners. The goal of sensate focus is to create mindfulness during sexual intimacy as well as improve communication with a partner(s). Another benefit and goal of sensate focus is gaining a deeper understanding of one's own experience during sex. There are often phases or steps when using sensate focus. This is to ensure that all participants are comfortable with the exercise and to focus on the goal of connection versus a specific outcome such as orgasm or penetration. The method has shown to improve sexual dysfunctions including ED and performance anxiety related to sex. Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) EMDR is often used to treat trauma though can also treat other mental health concerns including anxiety, substance use, and depression. Recently, EMDR has been used by sex therapists to treat sexual trauma or assualt as well as sexual dysfunction including ED and painful sex. EMDR is a longer term modality. The sex therapist first helps the client reprocess experiences in the past and then reprocesses present experiences and ends by creating a desired future template for the experience. As example, a client reports a present concern of inability to maintain erection during partnered sex. The sex therapist and client then identify experiences in the past similar to the present experience and then discuss how the client would like future experiences with his sex life. The therapist then facilitates the reprocessing of each identified experience until the client reports no disturbing feelings related to the experience(s). The goal is for the client to also report an ideal experience during sexual encounters instead of sexual dysfunction or disturbing memories or thoughts. Benefits of Different Methods Used in Sex Therapy Peer reviewed studies have shown that sex therapy can improve various areas of one's sexual experience. Some reported areas of improvement include: Sex education Communication Resolution of sexual dysfunction Sexual self esteem Many clients report very little to no sex education during their formative years. Sex therapy can help provide much needed information for clients to understand sexual health. Many clients report not getting basic information during school based sex education classes. Once they learn about these areas, they report an improvement in satisfaction with just knowing how to talk to their partner about both of their bodies and experiences. Communication is another area where sex therapy can show improvement. Besides not having the sex education to talk about sex or sexual health, many partners have different communication styles which create trouble in their sex life. Sex therapy can also help clients better communicate with each other. A lot of sexual dysfunction stems from a lack of sex education and trouble communicating about the topic. Sex therapy creates a space not only for clients to learn, but also for them to share their experiences and needs with sex. This can lead to a resolution of sexual dysfunctions. Finally, sex therapy can help create a healthy sex life and increase sexual self-esteem. This increase in sexual satisfaction is also true for clients who report a life-long or chronic condition impacting sexual behavior; they often report finding a "new Learn more about which type of sex therapy is right for you Sex therapy provides a space to talk about anything related to human sexuality including sexual health, sexual behavior, sexual dysfunction, and sexual desire to name a few. Sex therapy can be for yourself or with your partner(s). Atlanta Therapeutic Collective specializes in sex therapy with several sex therapists available to support you in your journey whether creating a more fulfilling sex life, improving your relationship satisfaction, exploring your sexual identity, or working through past traumatic experiences. The sex therapists with Atlanta Therapeutic Collective have a sex positive approach to treatment and are either certified sex therapists with the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or are sex therapists in training under the mentorship of a certified sex therapist. To schedule your first appointment, call 404-850-9495 or email info@atlantatherapeuticcollective.com Contributed by Courtney Geter, LMFTS, CSTS and Dawn Quintanilla, MFT, Certified Eroctic Blueprint Coach and certified meditation teacher