Here’s What It Might Mean if Your Partner Rejects You Sexually

Takeaway: Sexual rejection in a relationship can feel painful and confusing, but what does it mean when your partner rejects you sexually? It doesn’t always mean something is wrong with you or your partner. Desire fluctuates for many reasons that we’ll explore in-depth in this blog post. Plus, we’ll share our favorite tips for navigating it effectively.

At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we frequently work with individuals and couples who are dealing with sexual rejection with their sexual partner, which can often impact their self worth.

Once, a client shared his feeling sexually rejected by his partner when he noticed his wife turned down his sexual advances more frequently. He wondered: Is she no longer attracted to me? Is something wrong with our marriage? Like many in long-term relationships, he found himself grappling with feelings of feeling rejected, confusion, and even self-doubt.

If you’ve been feeling sexually rejected in your relationship know that you’re not alone—and it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with you or your partner. 

At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, our sex therapists, counselors, and social workers are trained in evidence-based approaches to help couples and individuals navigate these tender dynamics.

In this post, we’ll explore the most common reasons a partner might reject you sexually and share practical tips you can try at home. We’ll also highlight when it might be time to seek professional help.

What does it mean when your partner sexually rejects you? → 7 possible meanings

Sexual rejection can feel like a blow to your self-esteem, but it often has less to do with attraction and more to do with underlying emotional, psychological, or physical issues.

Below, we explore seven reasons for sexual rejection and tips for each one.

1. Your partner might be feeling emotionally distant from you.

Feeling emotionally disconnected can lead to an emotional reaction that can impact a want for physical connection.

What you can do:

• Initiate non-sexual intimacy: Plan a date night or show affection with a hug or hand-holding.

• Address underlying conflict: Talk through any potential tension.

• Cultivate emotional intimacy: Spend time engaging in conversation or shared activities.

2. They may be experiencing performance anxiety

Many men tend to feel pressure to perform during sexual activity, and if they’ve had a negative experience (like trouble maintaining arousal), they may withdraw sexually to avoid feeling worse. This fear of failure can lead them to reject their partner even when they want sex.

What you can do:

• Normalize the conversation: Let your partner know you love them regardless of performance.

• Initiate sex connection without pressure: Focus on pleasure of time together and not a goal of penetration or orgasm.

3. Their sex drive may have changed

Sex drive varies from person to person and can shift due to stress, aging, hormonal changes, or health issues. According to a study by Schwenck et al. (2023), individuals dealing with low sexual desire reported significantly more relationship strain, though this didn’t always stem from a lack of love or attraction.

What you can do:

• Talk openly: Ask your partner if they’ve noticed changes in their desire.

• Therapy: Suggest sex or relationship therapy to explore these changes together.

4. They might be dealing with mental health concerns

Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can lead to a decreased interest in sex. When someone feels low or overwhelmed, they may avoid intimacy altogether.

What you can do:

• Show empathy: Ask how they’re feeling emotionally without tying it directly to sex.

• Encourage help: Your partner talking to a professional can take the strain off your relationship.

5. There may be unresolved resentment in the relationship

If your partner feels unacknowledged, criticized, or hurt by something you did, they might pull away sexually, especially if there are emotionally abusive dynamics involved. Sexual rejection, in these cases, may be a symptom of deeper emotional distance.

What you can do:

• Engage in honest communication: Ask your partner if there’s something bothering them.

• Avoid hurting each other further: Prioritize active listening and conflict resolution.

6. They may be experiencing responsive rather than spontaneous desire

Many people, especially women, experience what’s known as “responsive desire.” This means they might not feel sexual desire until a stimulus is provided that "turns them on." Research from Schmitt et al. (2019) found that sexual desire is complex and influenced by both relational and situational factors.

What you can do:

• Initiate sex with emotional connection in mind: Start with cuddling, kissing, or a sensual massage or another activity of mutual enjoyment.

• Set the mood: Plan intimate time without distractions.

• Be patient and check in: Ask your partner what helps them feel more connected and in the mood, and let things unfold naturally.

7. They could be unsure how to express their needs

In some cases, your partner may want more sex, but not the kind of sex that’s currently happening. They may be craving more emotional connection, different physical affection, or space to explore their sexual needs.

What you can do:

• Communicate openly: Ask what your partner likes and doesn’t like.

• Explore together: Read about sexual satisfaction or try something new.

• Engage in self care together: Practice care routines that reduce negative impact

When to consider therapy if you are experiencing sexual rejection

While communication and compassion can go a long way, they’re not always enough to address deeper issues in a romantic relationship. Therapy can provide a space to unpack concerns and build a better relationship.

Consider seeking help if:

• You feel hurt, inadequate, or rejected sexually for a long period

• You and your partner avoid talking about your sex life

• You suspect underlying issues like trauma or emotional abuse

• There’s a noticeable emotional distance or disconnect in your relationship

• You feel defensive or emotionally shut down when your partner rejects you sexually

Our clinicians at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective specialize in helping couples rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Learn more about our sex therapy services, or contact us to get started.

Final thoughts to improve the impact of sexual rejection

Experiencing sexual rejection can stir up painful emotions, but it can also be a powerful opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Many couples who engage in therapy discover that building emotional connections, having deep conversations, and practicing open communication can reignite sexual intimacy in meaningful ways.

One couple we worked with were in a sexless marriage for nearly a year. The wife admitted she felt emotionally disconnected and overwhelmed with stress. The husband, who was feeling unwanted sexually in a relationship, took this as a personal rejection. Through couples therapy, they learned to communicate more honestly, as countless couples do, and rebuild both emotional intimacy and sexual connection. Today, their sex life is more satisfying than it ever was before.

At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, we believe that everyone deserves fulfilling sexual relationships. If you’re feeling rejected sexually, or wondering what to do when your partner rejects you sexually, know that support is available.

We’re here to help you reconnect, rediscover longing, and create the healthy relationship you deserve.

Explore our team to find the right therapist for you, or book a consultation today.