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Written by Amanda Gleason, MFT Sex counselors, sex and intimacy coaches, sex and sexuality educators, sex therapists...what is the difference between them, and do I need one?! We have all experienced relationship problems, but rarely do people take the time to reflect on how human sexuality, physical contact, or how their sex lives impact them. Struggles with intimacy are very common. The good news is that they’re also treatable. Sex and intimacy coaches are trained professionals that can help you navigate these issues and enjoy your sex life again. Keep reading as we break down everything you need to know about certified sex coaches so you can make an informed decision. We'll begin by tackling the basics of what sex coaching is and who is a certified sex coach. Then we'll learn about credentials for sex coaches and why this is important. Next, we'll dive into what you can expect from a sex coach, and what the process may look like for you. Sex Coaching 101: Understanding the Basics "I'm struggling with sexual and emotional intimacy; I don't feel connected to my partner." "We have sex problems because of our differing sexual desires after having kids." "I want to be a better lover; my partner doesn't enjoy sex." If you've ever suffered similar relationship or sexual problems before, you know how difficult it can be to talk to someone. These are a few examples of issues that sex coaches face on a regular basis. Sex coaches focus on your relationship goals, helping you develop a stronger emotional connection with your partner, and work as your co-creator to address personal sex issues. What is a sex coach? A sex coach can come in a variety of forms. However, most sex coaches work with a person to achieve their personal sex goals, whether that involves developing emotional intimacy, creating a fulfilling sex life, developing a better understanding of sexual anatomy, or even tackling issues such as performance anxiety. What's in a name? Sex coaches can also be go by sex and intimacy coaches (or intimacy coaching) or sexuality coach. Some sex coaches also provide relationship coaching and go by relationship coach. Some coaches combine their work such as relationship and sex coach or sex and intimacy coach. Sex positive Sex coaches are sex-positive, and work to create a safe space within the clinical experience so that their clients achieve the personal growth they desire. Discussing sexual issues can make a person feel embarrassed or uncomfortable; therefore, sex coaches strive to create an environment of non-judgment and understanding. The goal may be to guide or teach individuals to be (their version of) better lovers, with control of their sex lives or a better idea of sexual satisfaction. Sometimes this includes defining intimacy or having the courage to discuss their deepest desires. A coach teaches a person how to regain control of their sexual experience. What kind of credentials do sex coaches have? Sex coaches can have a wide range of education and experience. Currently, there is no regulation for any type of coaching. Some coaches come with years of clinical and hands-on experience, a graduate degree, and a license to practice therapy or counseling. Other coaches may have a bachelor's degree or no degree at all. Some coaches are members of national associations or are certified as a coach. However, it is important that a sex coach understand basic human sexual health and sexuality. The coaches at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective all have advanced graduate degrees and/or additional certifications in human sexuality, human sexual health, and sexual and relationship issues. Many of our coaches are a trained and licensed therapist with sex therapy training. Several of our coaches are also certified sex therapists and hold membership in the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Anyone may refer to themselves as a sex coach or sex counselor, so be sure to inquire about degrees, credentials, and experience. Check out Atlanta Therapeutic Collective's coaching and sex counseling services for more information about our sex coaches! Sex coaching is not sex therapy There is a difference between a sex therapy and a sex coach. A sex therapist is licensed therapist trained to provide intensive mental health treatment. A licensed therapist holds a master's degree in therapy or mental health counseling. A therapist can provide coaching skills to clients though a coach not licensed as a therapist cannot provide therapy. Sex therapy often treats sexual trauma or PTSD, abuse, high conflict couples or relationships, or medical conditions impacting sexual functioning or relationship satisfaction. These conditions can not be treated in coaching. Sex therapists will use evidence-based research to address underlying concerns. Therapy involves building emotional regulation and processing traumatic events while sex coach teaches a comprehensive sex education and sexual skills to create change. Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, a private practice in Atlanta, provides both sex therapy and coaching services. Decide which option best suits your needs and reach out to book your appointment! What to expect from the sex coaching process The process of talk based sex coaching may look different for everyone! First, don't compare your coaching experience with anyone else's experience! A sex coaching session can range from covering basic general sex ed to sexual practices and sexual skills to an understanding of sexual issues like premature ejaculation, sexual desire, or how erotic massage can enhance a relationship and improve sexual experiences. The first session sets your coaching experience up for success! First, you and your coach will discuss goals for coaching and create a coaching plan with specific outcomes. Next, your coach will begin to use their knowledge and expertise to guide you through a personalized coaching process that is meant to meet your specific and unique needs as an individual. What happens in a sex coaching session? Once you create your coaching plan and set your goals, it's time to start making change happen! Many sex coaches start with sex education or address common sexual problems or relationship issues to first validate that your concerns are real and most likely common! Next, sex coaches will provide tools or suggestions for you to use at home in order to meet your goals and improve your sexual experiences! Sex Education Most people don't receive a comprehensive education on human sexuality. Therefore, in order to increase your sexual intelligence and improve your sex life, we must understand sex including how our bodies work and how our partner's bodies work. Understanding sex also means understanding how medical conditions, medication, and life events intersect with our sexual experience. If you are like many people, the sex ed that you received in school (if you received any at all!) was probably clinical and abstinence-based. In other words, most school based sex ed teaches the negative aspects of sex and tells children not to have sex or "bad things will happen." Learning about sex with a coach is fun and creative! Our sex coaches will often use different styles of media, art, video, books, and workbooks to teach individuals about sex. Our sex coaches also create a safe environment for clients to ask questions about sex. Let's take a look at one model that sex coaches use: The PLISSIT model This model was created for the purpose of improving sexual conversations by professionals sexuality educators/providers and their clients/patients. It normalizes sex and intimacy conversations and allows for a comfortable way to approach the topics desired. PLISSIT stands for: Permission- The sex coach will work to give the client permission to discuss issues by normalizing and creating a safe, sex-positive environment. Limited Information- The sex coach will give specific and limited information about the client's concerns and related information. Specific Suggestions- Once a full evaluation or assessment has been conducted (verbally) with the client, a sex coach will offer suggestions based on their issues. Intensive Therapy- If required, the coach will refer clients to a higher level of care, which would likely be a certified sex therapist who is trained and educated to handle more serious mental health issues. Sex coaching only involves the steps listed in the PLISS portion of PLISSIT. You can see that it is led at the client's pace, with a focus on education. Now this doesn't sound too intimidating, but what does a sex coach do with it? Who can benefit from working with a sex coach? All are welcome! Sex coaching can benefit anyone interested in improving areas of their sex life or intimacy by expanding their knowledge or exploring their sexual energy. Due to the nature of the process being catered to the client, a sex coach can see a person of any gender, race, or sexuality. Sex coaches should be aware of differences that these factors can cause for individuals, and should make sure to carefully consider cultural differences or minority groups who have faced marginalization when it comes to sexual health education. Sex is for everyone, sexual health matters, and anyone interested can benefit from working with a sex coach. Sex coaching can help you put your sexual wellness first Now that we are better informed on what a sex coach is, what credentials they might have, and what happens during a session, let's reiterate how it can help you personally. Whether you want to give more attention to your dating skills, be a more hands on-on partner, or dive into what intimacy means to you, we encourage you to consider first taking a sex-positive approach. This is especially true for those who feel sexually marginalized or carry shame associated with their sexuality. Sexual health professionals work to establish a safe place and use their knowledge to work alongside you and advocate for your wellness. If you feel your questions and needs can be met by speaking with a sex educator or coach, they can provide you with education specific to you, a safe place to explore your sexual thoughts or desires, and can help you reach your intimacy or sex goals!

Written by Dawn Quintanilla, MFT and Certified Erotic Blueprints Coach and Sex Coach Are you curious about your unique erotic desires and preferences? Do you long to deepen your intimate connections and enhance your pleasure? If so, you're not alone. Understanding your Erotic Blueprint ™ , aka sexual blueprint or sexual love language, can unlock a world of self-discovery, sexual satisfaction and intimacy in your sex life. Erotic blueprints can help you better understand your own sexual needs and preferences, as well as your partner’s. But what is a sexual blueprint? And how do you know which one you are? Get ready to embark on a journey of self-exploration and sensual fulfillment. Understanding the Erotic Blueprint ™ Types There are Five Erotic Blueprint ™ Types that were coined by Jaiya, a renowned somatic sexologist and author. Over the course of two decades, she dedicated herself to conducting body mapping studies, collaborating with a diverse range of individuals in this clinical research. It was this extensive research that ultimately inspired her to develop the comprehensive and insightful quiz that forms the core of her work. You can access the Erotic Blueprints™ quiz through the following link here. There are five primary erotic blueprint type types which Jaiya calls Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, Shapeshifter. Similar to the five love languages, except for intimacy and your sex life, each blueprint represents a unique approach to experience pleasure and arousal, offering valuable insights into our desires and preferences. Which Erotic Blueprint Type are You? To uncover your Erotic Blueprint ™ type, it is essential to explore your responses to different types of stimuli and experiences. First, pay attention to what turns you on, what excites you, and what brings you the most satisfaction. Next, reflect on your preferences for tease and anticipation (Energetic type), sensory pleasure (Sensual type), explicit sexual acts (Sexual type), taboo exploration and power play (Kinky type), or versatility and adaptation (Shapeshifter type). Here is a more detailed breakdown of each type: The Energetic Type The Energetic Blueprint is characterized by a profound love for tease, anticipation, and yearning in the realm of sexuality. Individuals with this blueprint find pleasure in the desire itself, cherishing the sensation of wanting. They often require what could be termed "pre-foreplay," such as eye contact, flirting, and deep emotional connection, to fully engage their desires. This blueprint challenges the misconception that sex is solely about intercourse, as it highlights the significance of emotional and mental connection in the realm of eroticism. Energetic's shadow is that they are highly sensitive to arousal changes and can get triggered easily during sex. The Sensual Type The Sensual type thrives when all five senses – smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound – are ignited, creating an immersive and captivating experience during sexual play. These individuals prioritize a heart connection before engaging in sexual activities, valuing emotional intimacy. Foreplay centered around the senses is their forte, as they find immense pleasure in sensory exploration. However, their shadow sides may involve being turned off by intense sensation, unpleasant smells, loud noises, or a disorderly environment, highlighting the importance of a sensory-rich and harmonious atmosphere for their desires to flourish. The Sexual Type The Sexual blueprint aligns with conventional notions of a sex life, finding arousal in body parts, genital touch and genital stimulation, skin-to-skin contact, orgasmic pleasure, and often emphasizing intercourse. These individuals are strongly attuned to physical sensations. However, their shadow side can manifest as a belief that their approach to sex is the only correct way, potentially leading to judgment of alternative preferences. Balancing open-mindedness with their passionate desires is key for a harmonious sexual connection. The Kinky Type The Kinky Blueprint finds its arousal in the realm of taboo and edgy experiences, often embracing power dynamics, erotic fantasies, impact play, and creative explorations. For these individuals, the unconventional is where pleasure resides. Yet, the shadow side can involve grappling with shame, both internal and external, which requires careful self-exploration and communication to fully embrace their desires in a healthy and respectful manner. The Shapeshifter Blueprint Type The Shapeshifter embodies a vast capacity for pleasure, often labeled as the "hedonist," imparting a celebration of life's pleasures to other blueprints. Their sexual experiences encompass elements from all the different blueprints, making them incredibly versatile. However, their shadow involves navigating the challenges associated with various blueprint shadows, and they may encounter feelings of being "too much," both from within and from external sources. Balancing their diverse desires with self-acceptance is key for a fulfilling journey of pleasure. Discovering Your Erotic Blueprint ™ The Erotic Blueprints™ Quiz is a unique tool designed to help individuals explore their sexual preferences and desires in both a structured and holistic way. By taking the quiz, you gain insight into which of the five erotic blueprints - Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, or Shapeshifter - resonates most with your own desires and turn-ons. This knowledge can be a powerful catalyst for self-discovery and improving your intimate relationships. Whether you're looking to enhance communication with your partner, understand your own desires more deeply, or simply explore your sexuality, the Erotic Blueprints™ quiz offers a valuable starting point on your journey to sexual fulfillment. You can access the Erotic Blueprints™ quiz through the following link here. Benefits of the Erotic Blueprint Framework In the ever-evolving landscape of human sexuality, understanding our desires, needs, and preferences is essential for cultivating deep connections and fostering a fulfilling intimate life. The blueprints offer a captivating framework that delves into the diverse ways individuals experience and express themselves sexually. Whether you are seeking to deepen intimacy, enrich your relationships, or simply gain a deeper understanding of your own desires, the Erotic Blueprints™ hold the key. Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance Exploring the Erotic Blueprints™ can be a profound journey of self-discovery. By identifying which blueprint resonates with you the most, you gain insights into your unique sexual identity. This self-awareness fosters self-acceptance, helping you embrace your desires without judgment. Recognizing that your preferences are valid and natural can boost your self-esteem and overall well-being. Effective Communication Understanding your own Erotic Blueprint™ empowers you to effectively communicate your desires to your partner(s). Open conversations about your turn-ons, fantasies, and boundaries become more accessible when you have a clear framework to express your needs. This heightened communication can strengthen emotional bonds, create shared experiences, and lead to more fulfilling intimate connections. Deepened Intimacy Intimacy flourishes when partners are attuned to each other's Erotic Blueprints™. By recognizing and respecting your partner's sexual style, you can tailor experiences that align with their preferences. This not only demonstrates care and consideration for sexual partners, but also leads to deeper emotional connections, as you embark on a journey of exploring each other's desires and fantasies. Enhanced Pleasure The Erotic Blueprints™ pave the way to unprecedented pleasure. When you understand what arouses you most, you can create experiences that resonate with your desires. Whether it's teasing, erotic play, sensory exploration, explicit sexual acts, kinks, or versatile encounters, aligning your experiences with your blueprint can lead to heightened satisfaction and intense pleasure. Overcoming Misconceptions and Judgments By embracing the Erotic Blueprints™, you challenge societal misconceptions and judgments about what constitutes a fulfilling sex life. Each blueprint offers a unique path to pleasure, dismantling stereotypes and demonstrating the richness of human sexuality. This framework allows you to celebrate your desires and preferences, fostering a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of sexuality. The Erotic Blueprints™ offer a comprehensive map for navigating the landscape of human sexuality. By embracing this framework, you can uncover your desires, communicate effectively, deepen intimacy, enhance pleasure, and challenge stereotypes. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sexuality; each blueprint is a valid expression of desire. Embrace your unique Erotic Blueprint™ and embark on a journey of exploration, connection, and unabashed pleasure. Limitations of Erotic Blueprints While the Erotic Blueprint framework offers valuable insights into human sexual experiences, it's important to recognize that no system is without its limitations. As we delve into the diverse world of erotic desires, it's crucial to be aware of potential drawbacks that might arise when using this framework. As we explore the potential limitations of the Erotic Blueprint framework, it's important to approach it with an open and balanced perspective. While it offers a valuable tool for self-discovery and communication, it should not be the sole determinant of one's sexual identity. Fluidity of Desires Over Time Desires are not static; they can evolve and change over time due to various life circumstances, experiences, and personal growth. What might resonate as a primary Erotic Blueprint™ at one point in life might shift to another primary type later on. Relying solely on a fixed blueprint might not account for the fluidity of desires and the adaptability of our erotic identities. Neglecting Emotional Complexity The framework emphasizes a spectrum of physical desires, potentially overshadowing the emotional complexities that often intertwine with human intimacy. Emotional connection, vulnerability, and psychological aspects play a significant role in sexual experiences, and focusing solely on the physical aspect might neglect the holistic nature of intimate connections. Over-emphasis on Blueprint as Identity While understanding your Erotic Blueprint™ can be empowering, it's essential to remember that it's just one facet of your sexual identity. Relying too heavily on this framework might lead to individuals defining themselves solely through their blueprint, potentially overlooking other aspects that contribute to their unique sexuality and personal growth. Recognizing the fluidity of desires, the complexity of human sexuality, and the need for holistic understanding ensures that the framework is used as a stepping stone, rather than a rigid mold, on the journey of sexual exploration and self-awareness. Sex coaching can give you the customized support you need to truly understand yourself. Guiding Your Sexual Exploration: A Unique Approach to Sex Coaching Embarking on a journey of sexual exploration and self-discovery can be both exhilarating and daunting. At times, it's valuable to have a supportive guide who can help you navigate the intricacies of your desires and provide tailored insights. This is where sex coaching comes into play. Our approach to sex coaching is grounded in a holistic understanding of your desires, needs, and aspirations, taking into account the Erotic Blueprints™ as well as broader aspects of your identity. Through personalized guidance and open communication, we aim to enrich your sexual journey in ways that extend beyond the insights gained from the Erotic Blueprint quiz alone. Unlocking Deeper Insights Through Sex Coaching While the Erotic Blueprint quiz provides a valuable starting point, sex coaching offers a more comprehensive and personalized experience. Our approach goes beyond labeling your blueprint; it delves into the nuances of your desires, taking into consideration your unique life experiences, emotional triggers, and relationship dynamics. By working with a sex and relationship coach first, you can gain a deeper understanding of how your blueprint interacts with your broader identity, helping you navigate any challenges or questions that arise. Tailored Guidance for Your Journey Sex coaching provides a safe and non-judgmental space to discuss your desires, concerns, and curiosities. Whether you're seeking to strengthen communication with your partner, explore new facets of intimacy, or address specific challenges, our coaching approach is centered around your individual needs. We create a customized roadmap that aligns with your goals, helping you integrate the insights from the Erotic Blueprints™ into your unique context. Embark on Your Journey If you're intrigued by the idea of delving deeper into your desires and enriching your intimate connections, we invite you to take the next step. Schedule a coaching consultation with our certified erotic blueprint coach today! Remember, sexual exploration is a personal voyage, and having a knowledgeable and compassionate guide can make all the difference. Contact us today to schedule your free consultation and embark on a path of self-discovery, connection, and profound pleasure.

Sex therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Different people (and different relationships) need different things, so it’s important to find a therapist and a treatment method that’s the right fit for you. In this post, we’ll break down everything you need to know about the various types of sex therapy: what they are, who they’re for, and their unique benefits. What is Sex Therapy? Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy or "talk therapy." Sex therapy became popular in the 1950's when Dr. William Masters and Virginia E Johnson began working with couples experiencing sexual dysfunction or relationship concerns connected to sex. Since then, the field of sex therapy has grown to address a variety of concerns that clients experience around sex and sexuality. No matter the reason you seek sex therapy, a sex therapist will often start with a review of your sexual history, gather information about your current sexual challenges or concerns, discuss your goals for treatment, and provide their feedback for treatment options. The next section will discuss reasons for sex therapy and common methods used by sex therapists. Different Types of Sex Therapy Individual vs Relationship Therapy Just like traditional talk therapy, one decides whether they are needing individual therapy or relationship therapy with a partner(s). Individual therapy, or solo sex therapy, focuses on a person's personal sexual concerns to improve sexual function and experience; whereas, relationship sex therapy focuses on addressing sexual concerns between partners to improve relationship and sexual satisfaction. Painful intercourse Many people experience painful intercourse or pain with penetration. There is a wide assumption that painful sex is a women's sexual health issue. However, painful sex can occur with vaginal penetration and anal penetration. People of all gender identities and sexual orientation can experience painful sex. Signs or symptoms of painful sex are inability to achieve penetration, pain with penetration, pain during sexual intercourse, and tightness in the abdominal, butt, or back during intercourse. The pain can feel dull, fiery, sharp, or tight. Painful sex can begin at the onset of sexual activity or after years of sexual activity. Painful sex can be treated in both individual therapy and relationship therapy as it creates challenges in experiencing a fulfilling sex life on the individual and relationship level. Painful sex can also be a medical condition and treatment is in conjunction with other medical providers. Your sex therapist will be able to provide you information about your specific needs. Erectile Dysfunction There are many forms of erectile dysfunction, or ED, including difficulty obtaining or maintaining erection, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. Similar to painful intercourse, sex therapy addressing ED can be treated in both individual and/or relationship therapy. ED has several causes and can impact individuals and relationships in many different ways. A thorough assessment will help your therapist offer treatment options. Gender Identity In recent years, a newer niche has formed in the sex therapy field. Often, you'll hear a therapist refer to themselves as a gender therapist or offering gender therapy. Gender therapy provides support for clients exploring or evolving their gender identity. This type of therapy provides a supportive space for clients to be their authentic self without shame or criticism. Many sex therapists can provide gender therapy while also treating other sexual health concerns and changes in relationship with an evolving or transitioning identity. Sexual Trauma Sexual trauma occurs in many forms including sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual shame, religious trauma, intimate partner violence, and racial or cultural trauma. Unfortunately, many people experience more than one of these in their lifetime. Sexual trauma can be direct or indirect. A direct trauma is something that happens to you whereas an indirect trauma is something you are aware of or witnessed. Sexual trauma can also happen at any age and to any gender identity or sexual orientation. Sexual trauma can be occur from strangers or people we know in our lives. Sexual trauma can not only impact the individual but it can also impact a person's relationship with an intimate partner, friendships, and family relationships. Although therapy can help in recovery of trauma, if you are currently in an abusive relationship or experiencing abuse, immediate resources are available to you. Methods Used in Sex Therapy Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT CBT is a common approach in sex therapy that helps clients identify negative thoughts around sexuality and how these thoughts impact their sexual behavior and experiences. CBT is often a shorter term modality that addresses present issues instead of resolving concerns or experiences in the past. The goal is to change one's thoughts or perspective in order to create a behavior change. CBT, often, involves behavioral exercises at home. Solution Focused Therapy Solution focused therapy (SFT) is another shorter term modality with the goal to focus on what is currently working and doing more of what works. SFT does not focus on negative experiences and, often, encourages the client to only focus and speak about what is working. SFT is often used in sex therapy to treat a variety of sexual dysfunction including anxiety with sex or differing sexual desires between partners. PLISSIT PLISSIT stands for Permission, Limited Information, Specific Suggestions, and Intensive Therapy. Permission is first, and foremost, the therapist modeling consent by asking permission from the client and also giving the client permission to seek information. For some clients, just being given permission to be who they are or enjoy sexual activities is enough. Limited Information information is what most clients need when experiencing sexual problems and seeking sexual therapy. Limited information provides the client with information around a certain area of human sexuality. For instance, a client seeking therapy due to low sexual desire may be informed that sexual desire ranges from person to person. Specific Suggestions is when a client needs more than just education around sexual health and they need suggestion on how to improve their sexual concerns. Specific suggestions are often provided when a sexual dysfunction occurs and is often an exercise done by the client at home. Intensive Therapy is provided to a small percentage of clients and only needs to be provide by a licensed sex therapist or licensed psychologist. Intensive therapy is often provided when there is a history of trauma or psychological symptoms that impact a client from daily functioning. Erotic Blueprints (TM) What some refer to as the sexual love languages, the Erotic Blueprints (TM) addresses a wide variety of sexual issues and sexual dysfunctions. It ultimately focuses on increasing sexual desire and intimacy in the relationship to improve sexual health and sexual satisfaction. Erotic Blueprints (TM) focuses on five different types of sexual intimacy: Energetic which loves tease, anticipation and yearning. Sensual which are turned on by taste, smell, touch, and sound. Sexual which have high libidos and love anything to do with physical body parts and orgasms. Kinky who are often folks are turned on by the "taboo" or "edgy." Shapeshifter which loves everything and anything and are turned on by all the blueprints. The Erotic Blueprints (TM) are often used in mindfulness based sex therapy. Sex therapists who incorporate the Erotic Blueprints (TM) have found the method beneficial in individual and relationship therapy treating sexual dysfunction to help decrease sexual problems while improving sexual well being and relationship satisfaction. This is achieved due to the sex therapist being able to educate and somatically help clients apply tools and techniques to their own bodies. Sensate Focus Sensate focus was created by Dr. William Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and has become a popular method to use with couples in sex therapy. However, over the years, therapists have found ways to incorporate sensate focus into individual therapy and therapy with multiple partners. The goal of sensate focus is to create mindfulness during sexual intimacy as well as improve communication with a partner(s). Another benefit and goal of sensate focus is gaining a deeper understanding of one's own experience during sex. There are often phases or steps when using sensate focus. This is to ensure that all participants are comfortable with the exercise and to focus on the goal of connection versus a specific outcome such as orgasm or penetration. The method has shown to improve sexual dysfunctions including ED and performance anxiety related to sex. Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) EMDR is often used to treat trauma though can also treat other mental health concerns including anxiety, substance use, and depression. Recently, EMDR has been used by sex therapists to treat sexual trauma or assualt as well as sexual dysfunction including ED and painful sex. EMDR is a longer term modality. The sex therapist first helps the client reprocess experiences in the past and then reprocesses present experiences and ends by creating a desired future template for the experience. As example, a client reports a present concern of inability to maintain erection during partnered sex. The sex therapist and client then identify experiences in the past similar to the present experience and then discuss how the client would like future experiences with his sex life. The therapist then facilitates the reprocessing of each identified experience until the client reports no disturbing feelings related to the experience(s). The goal is for the client to also report an ideal experience during sexual encounters instead of sexual dysfunction or disturbing memories or thoughts. Benefits of Different Methods Used in Sex Therapy Peer reviewed studies have shown that sex therapy can improve various areas of one's sexual experience. Some reported areas of improvement include: Sex education Communication Resolution of sexual dysfunction Sexual self esteem Many clients report very little to no sex education during their formative years. Sex therapy can help provide much needed information for clients to understand sexual health. Many clients report not getting basic information during school based sex education classes. Once they learn about these areas, they report an improvement in satisfaction with just knowing how to talk to their partner about both of their bodies and experiences. Communication is another area where sex therapy can show improvement. Besides not having the sex education to talk about sex or sexual health, many partners have different communication styles which create trouble in their sex life. Sex therapy can also help clients better communicate with each other. A lot of sexual dysfunction stems from a lack of sex education and trouble communicating about the topic. Sex therapy creates a space not only for clients to learn, but also for them to share their experiences and needs with sex. This can lead to a resolution of sexual dysfunctions. Finally, sex therapy can help create a healthy sex life and increase sexual self-esteem. This increase in sexual satisfaction is also true for clients who report a life-long or chronic condition impacting sexual behavior; they often report finding a "new Learn more about which type of sex therapy is right for you Sex therapy provides a space to talk about anything related to human sexuality including sexual health, sexual behavior, sexual dysfunction, and sexual desire to name a few. Sex therapy can be for yourself or with your partner(s). Atlanta Therapeutic Collective specializes in sex therapy with several sex therapists available to support you in your journey whether creating a more fulfilling sex life, improving your relationship satisfaction, exploring your sexual identity, or working through past traumatic experiences. The sex therapists with Atlanta Therapeutic Collective have a sex positive approach to treatment and are either certified sex therapists with the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or are sex therapists in training under the mentorship of a certified sex therapist. To schedule your first appointment, call 404-850-9495 or email info@atlantatherapeuticcollective.com Contributed by Courtney Geter, LMFTS, CSTS and Dawn Quintanilla, MFT, Certified Eroctic Blueprint Coach and certified meditation teacher

It can be frustrating, confusing, and hurtful when your partner no longer seems interested in you. However, this doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. In this post, we’ll explore reasons why there might be a sexual disconnect with your partner, as well as our top tips for what to do when your husband doesn’t want you sexually anymore. Why doesn’t my husband want to have sex with me? There are few things more painful than rejection, and it can be doubly painful when that rejection comes from your partner – and involves sex. If you’ve put the time and effort to create a healthy sex life and your husband doesn’t want to be intimate, it can feel like he doesn't want you. You might even jump to conclusions and assume the worst such as "he’s lost interest in me," "he’s cheating," or "I'll have a sexless marriage." There are many reasons why a man may not initiate sex or want sex anymore in your relationship – and surprisingly, most of them have nothing to do with you! Some of the most painful reasons that could cool a man's sex drive have nothing to do with his partner. Whenever there’s a big change in libido, it’s important to rule out medical issues before blaming yourself or suspecting him of the worst. Low libido is a common side effect for several medical conditions, and certain medications also have sexual side effects. Other potential reasons your partner may not want to be intimate with you could include stress, mental health issues, or relationship issues. Any of these could explain your recent decline in intimacy. Physical problems Erectile dysfunction can be both a primary medical condition and also a side effect of a medical condition or medication. Erectile dysfunction, or ED, impacts men of all ages, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status, as well as men with no to little health issues and men with chronic health conditions. Types of erectile dysfunction (ED) includes inability to obtain or maintain erection, inability or difficulty with ejaculation, delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation. Erectile dysfunction can also include painful erections, painful ejaculation, or painful penetrative sex. Other conditions related to the male anatomy include prostate issues including prostatitis, which is an inflammation of the prostate gland. Prostatitis can occur due to bacteria infecting the prostrate due to another medical issue such as an urinary track infection. These forms of prostatitis are often treated with medications. Prostatitis can also occur due to chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS). Unfortunately, pelvic pain is mostly associate with women and often overlooked in men. Many men often see several medical providers and experience intense pain or discomfort before finding a medical doctor or pelvic floor specialist that understands and can help treat CPPS. Low testosterone (low T) is another reason some men experience low sex drive or your husband avoids sex. Low testosterone often occurs in older men though has been seen in younger men at times. Naturally, as men age, testosterone levels slowly decrease; therefore, it's common for men to experience a natural decline in sexual desire with age. Testosterone levels also have a normal range; there is a medical concern when T-levels fall outside of this range or if the testosterone levels suddenly decrease with no known cause. Other medical conditions, such as diabetes, brain injuries or spinal cord injuries, can also impact sexual arousal and sexual desire. The Amercian Diabetes Association states that low sexual desire is common with diabetic men and often impacts them more than their peers who don't have diabetes. Diabetes can also lower testosterone levels or damage the nerve and vascular system which is needed for erection. However, the ADA states that proper management of diabetes can improve erectile functioning. Sex can begin either in the brain via "...psychological sexual sensations such as sexual thoughts, sights, smells, or sounds that turn you on sexually," or from stimulation of the genital area. When sexually aroused through psychological sources, the brain sends messages through the nervous system that allow for sexual desires, sexual arousal, and sexual functioning. This source of stimulation is often easier to maintain than physical stimulation to the genital area only. Spinal cord or brain trauma or injury can create various sexual side effects depending on the severity of the injury and where in the brain or spinal cord the injury occurred. Medications Medications can do so much to improve and lengthen our lives, yet, they often come with tradeoffs including a lower desire for sex. Some of the most common medications known for this effect include SSRI and SNRI antidepressants, beta-blockers like atenolol, and corticosteroids, including Prednisone. Many medications used to treat prostate conditions are also notorious for having patients not wanting sex. Medication to treat hypertension or high blood pressure can also cause ED including inability or trouble obtaining an erection. If your husband is experiencing side effects after starting a medication, encourage him to discuss with the prescribing doctor or his pharmacist. Prescribed medication should not be stopped without medical advice to prevent any further medical conditions or side effects from occuring including fatality. Stress If you ask any sexual health professional, they will often tell you that stress is a top killer for one's sex life. Stress at work, in your family, or anywhere else in life can have unpredictable impacts on our well-being. Big life changes like a new job, a move, wedding planning, or family drama can all cause stress. Stress can come from relationship problems whether in your romantic relationship, a friendship, or family relationship problems. Even minor and temporary stressors like a lack of sleep or disruption to routine can lead to a decrease in sex drive. Stress activates our sympathetic nervous system which is our fight, flight, or freeze response. In this state, the brain is on high alert with the main goal to stay alive and healthy. While in this state, many bodily functions significantly slow down including digestion and elimination while other functions to keep us alive activate including an increase in hearing and sight. Optimally, when the brain realizes the threat is gone, it is able to switch back to the parasympathetic nervous system which is the rest an relax response where we are able to feel calm and resume bodily functions to keep us healthy. However, some people never switch out of the "stay alive" system and their brain remains "on alert for a longer period of time including days to months to years. Sex is a function that often occurs in the "rest and relax" system. When one is on high alert, their brain sees no reason for sexual connection or sexual activity. According to Drs. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, the main reason stress can have such damaging impact on a person is that we often don't end the stress cycle. Doing activities to end the stress cycle, such as exercise, dancing, laughing, yelling, tells the brain that it is safe to resume normal functioning. The caveat here is that sex, is also a form of exercise! Therefore, if one can initiate sex while under stress, they are not only finding a way to end the stress cycle but they are also meeting sexual needs for himself and his partner! Depression and anxiety Stress is not the same as depression or anxiety, even though they often go hand-in-hand. A loss of interest in sex or low desire can be a symptom of either depression or anxiety. Sometimes, these are just unpleasant and fleeting feelings, but in other situations, they are chronic conditions. Sometimes depression and anxiety can occur for some time after an adverse event such as witnessing or experiencing something upsetting, especially if they have intrusive thoughts of the event. Some men also experience performance anxiety with sex. Sexual performance anxiety can occur with just one bad experience with sex. This then leads to anticipatory anxiety with the thought of sexual contact or even the possibility of sex. Anxiety is a form of stress which activates the sympathetic nervous system leading to difficulty with sex. Depression and anxiety can be serious conditions that, when they hit a clinical threshold, justify intervention from a professional. Relationship problems Even if he’s not depressed or anxious, there might be other problems in his life. If you can rule out physical and mental health issue, it might be time to critically examine your relationship and explore if the source of sexual issues stems from the relationship. Big fights might have an impact for a long time, and even positive events, like becoming parents, could require both partners to reframe how intimacy and sex will exist in their relationship. Perhaps the other partner (that is, you) is suffering from depression or anxiety, and this has impacted his desire for sex, or maybe neither of you is prioritizing the relationship and spending time together. Sexual Satisfaction or Sexual Attraction This is such a sensitive topic though a topic that must be explored and discussed. At times, some partners experience a loss of sexual satisfaction and/or a loss of sexual attraction to their current partner. Sexual dissatisfaction can occur for many reasons including boredom with the current sexual activity in the relationship and differences of sexual desires or sexual behaviors. If you have been with your partner for several years and sexual activity remains the same, it might be time to "spice things up" a bit to add variety. Sexual attraction, in a long term relationship or any relationship, can also change. Some people find sexual desire and arousal from an emotional connection with another person while some find sexual desire and arousal from a physical appearance of a person. If sexual attraction is the source of a decline in your sex life, it is highly suggested that you and your husband meet with a sex therapist where you can have open and honest conversation in a supportive environment. My husband has lost interest in me sexually: What should I do? If your husband is suffering from something that he’s embarrassed about, his lack of interest in sex may seem like a natural response to a combination of shame and the symptoms of a disorder. Regardless of what kind of problem it is, few people want to have sex if they’re feeling lousy. What affects your husband will, inadvertently, affect you too. We're now going to find strategies for what to do when husband doesn't want you sexually anymore. Tips for how to deal when your husband doesn't want sex It can feel gutting or like your are dying inside if your partner has lost interest in you sexually, even if the reason has nothing to do with you. You might feel ashamed, frustrated, embarrassed, angry, jealous, or insecure. Learning the physical, emotional, or other reasons for a decline in intimacy may provide more context for your partner seeming to lose sexual interest, but knowing why it is happening versus knowing how to respond to the situation are two different things. You might not be able to change the reasons why your husband doesn’t want sex with you, but you can control what you do in response to it. Self-care The most important thing to do if your husband doesn't want you anymore is to validate your own feelings. This is a tough situation, so let yourself feel what you need to feel, whether it’s grief, or frustration, or embarrassment. Take some time by yourself and work with those emotions: Draw or paint. Write in your journal. Go for a run. Give yourself what you’re not getting from your partner right now through a variety of sensory experiences. Gather your village Don't be afraid to lean on your support system. Your best friend exists for a time like this. Even if you don’t get into the nitty-gritty of your sex life with them, they can provide fun, distraction, and validation. A therapist can be part of this village too. Let yourself feel sexy If your partner doesn't want to have sex with you anymore, this could be a good occasion to do something counterintuitive: Go out for a night on the town. You don’t need to go crazy, just go out somewhere where you might meet new people: A cocktail party, dance class, nightclub, or concert would all work well. Stay safe, and don’t do anything regrettable or outside the bounds of your relationship. The point is not to make your partner jealous, but to restore your confidence and self esteem. So let yourself feel sexy. Be reflexive Many people who experience a partner’s zero interest in sex tend to blame themselves, the other person or both. The truth is never that simple, and when you’re ready, think critically about the events in the relationship and what you could have done differently – as well as what your partner did. Don’t fixate on what you could or should have done, but instead use these thoughts to develop strategies for navigating the next challenge in your relationship. My husband has low sexual desire: How else can we connect? You already know that sex is not the only way to connect. Once you’ve settled into a routine in your life and in your relationship, it can be easy to forget that you once connected with your partner in a non-sexual way. If you’re having trouble with intimacy, you can still find other ways to connect and bond. Couples therapy is one solution, but it may not provide much time to bond or connect in a low-pressure, fun, and lighthearted way. This could be a good time to explore hobbies and interests together, or even to try and bring back the romance from the early days of your relationship. Not everything has to be serious or heavy, either – you can have lots of fun connecting without sex. How to bond with your partner without sex You might find that bonding with your partner without sex can be even sexier than bonding with sex! Try some of the following strategies. Think about what drew you to your partner in the first place. What activities helped you connect with him before you had a sexual relationship? Revisit your old haunts This might be a good time to revisit those spots where you had your first dates. Go back to the first restaurant you ate at together, or revisit your old college bar (hey, maybe this time you won’t get carded). Make something together Physical contact isn't the only way to be intimate. Home or creative projects can be fun too. Take this time to finally get around to a house project you’ve wanted to do for a long time, like building a garden bed, installing that kitchen backsplash, or something else that improves the home you share together. Do something to help the world together Volunteer work is rewarding in many ways. What do you care about as a couple? Give some time to a cause you care about. Whether you’re cleaning up a park, feeding the hungry, or walking adoptable dogs, you can connect over making the world a better place, together, and this will rebuild your intimacy. Have a movie night Snuggle on the couch with some popcorn. See how many lines you’ve memorized from your favorite flicks or hug each other during scary scenes. A fun evening like this can give you something else to focus on besides your relationship, and chances are, the problems of the characters in the movies you watch are much more serious than yours! Learn a new language together Rebuilding intimacy is a process. Love is a language. Why not combine the two and try the process of learning something new, like a language? Pick one that neither of you knows, or that is spoken in a place you’d love to travel to someday and try it together using Duolingo or even a formal class. Do some of your bucket list activities You don’t have to go on a skydiving date (unless that's your thing!), but much of our regrets come from our assumption that we will have forever to do the things that intrigue us, and the reality that we do not. Many of the things we want to do reflect who we want to be, and our best selves, so there’s nobody better to do these things with than your partner. You can try something new and dramatic, or just something you’ve been meaning to do but putting off, like horseback riding, or trying a new restaurant, or visiting your dad’s hundred-year-old aunt who lives two hours away. Therapy can help your sex life Therapy can be used for many different reasons; some come to therapy during a crisis and they need immediate resources or tools to manage the crisis. Others come to therapy as a way to learn more about themselves and grow as a person. Couples come to therapy save their relationship or find ways to ensure their relationship continues to grow. Individual or couples therapy can both be beneficial when experiencing sexual desire issues. Many begin to realize they are not on the same page as their partner when it comes to sex or the definition of sex. Clients also begin to define what sex means to them and how these needs have been or have not been met in the relationship. Often times, people realize that a low sex drive is just a symptom of other mental health or relationship concerns. They then begin working to work on improving the overall health of themself and the relationship. When looking for a sex therapist, be sure to find out their training background and how they are connected in the field. A reputable sex therapist will have extensive training in sexuality and sex therapy as well as have mentored under a seasoned sex therapist. They will also continue their training throughout their career. The therapists at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective are either certified by The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or are completing their training under the guidance of a certified sex therapist. It's also important that your sex therapist has training in working with couples and relationships as this will help them understand how to support your relationship. Many of the therapists at Atlanta Therapeutic Collective are also marriage and family therapists who have trained to work with all relationship structures including monogamy and non-monogamy. References Berezowsky, J. (1979). Intimacy, individuation, and marriage. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, 13(2). Burns, A. (1984). Perceived causes of marriage breakdown and conditions of life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 551–562. Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. (2010). Marriage in the new millennium: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 630–649. Greil, W., Horvath, A., Sassim, N., Erazo, N., & Grohmann, R. (2001). Disinhibition of libido: An adverse effect of SSRI? Journal of Affective Disorders, 62(3), 225–228. Hallowell, E. M., Hallowell, S., & Orlov, M. (2010). Married to distraction: Restoring intimacy and strengthening your marriage in an age of interruption. Ballantine Books. Harvey, J. H., & Omarzu, J. (1997). Minding the close relationship. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1(3), 224–240. Josephs, L., Hall, K. S., & Binik, Y. M. (2020). Restoring Trust and Sexual Intimacy after Infidelities. In Principles and Practices of Sex Therapy. Guildford Press. Margolin, L., & White, L. (1987). The continuing role of physical attractiveness in marriage. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 21–27. McCarthy, B., & McCarthy, E. (2013). Rekindling desire. Routledge. Montejo-Gonzalez, A. L., Llorca, G., Izquierdo, J. A., Ledesma, A., Bouso o, M., Calcedo, A., Carrasco, J. L., Ciudad, J., Daniel, E., & De la Gandara, J. (1997). SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction: Fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, and fluvoxamine in a prospective, multicenter, and descriptive clinical study of 344 patients. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 23, 176–194. Schover, L. R., & LoPiccolo, J. (1982). Treatment effectiveness for dysfunctions of sexual desire. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 8(3), 179–197. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926238208405821 Winton, M. A. (2000). The Medicalization of Male Sexual Dysfunctions: An Analysis of Sex Therapy Journals. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 25(4), 231–239. https://doi.org/10.1080/01614576.2000.11074355 Yehuda, R., Lehrner, A. M. Y., & Rosenbaum, T. Y. (2015). PTSD and sexual dysfunction in men and women. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(5), 1107–1119. Contributed by Turk Al Jallah, MSW Intern and Courtney Geter, LMFT-S, CST-S

Anxiety is a perfectly normal human experience, but if you find it affecting you daily, you could be dealing with an anxiety disorder. According to the Mayo Clinic, anxiety disorders are common, affecting more than 3 million Americans a year, with a whole industry of professionals and helpful strategies to treat them. In therapy, a professional can personalize strategies, medications, and reminders just for you. Below are an array of symptoms identified by the Mayo Clinic of anxiety disorders. Feeling nervous when you normally wouldn’t be Feeling panicked or alarmed when you normally wouldn’t be Always fearing the worst case scenario Obsessive thinking about things going wrong Heart palpitations Nervous tics (i.e. compulsive, jittery movements) Hyperventilating Sweating excessively If any of these symptoms resonate with you, just remember: help is available! In the meantime, here are 4 helpful, actionable tips for how to cope with anxiety to help improve your mental and physical well being. Move Your Body Notice: it does not say “exercise!” Simply finding time once a day to move your body consciously can help manage your anxiety. Whether it’s a five minute yoga session or a walk down the block, moving your body can help you recalibrate yourself in the present situation, which can reduce anxiety. Monitor Your Intake of Food, Liquid, and Drugs Caffeine is a drug! You may be more sensitive to its effects than you realize. Instead of downing another espresso after a big yawn, try resting your eyes for fifteen minutes instead. Try paying attention to what effect other liquids, foods, and drugs have on you and adjust accordingly. Do you feel especially anxious after consuming something with a lot of sugar? Nicotine or alcohol are often used to combat anxiety, but they can often induce the opposite effect. If you have trouble adjusting your intake of these substances, support groups and/or therapy are recommended. Talk to Someone Though finding professional help is ideal, friends and family can be great substitutes for when you’re feeling anxious. Anxiety can push us into feeling isolated by our worries, so keep in mind that socializing with anyone can help push those thoughts away. This is especially important if your anxiety has to do with socializing: even small conversations with a loved one can help alleviate stress and anxiety. Prioritize Your Sleep Sleeping too much or too little can affect your mood throughout the day. Set a bedtime and time to wake up for yourself everyday and try your best to stick to it. This might include omitting certain substances or habits past a certain time, like consuming caffeine or scrolling through social media as you lay in bed. Your preparation for bed has real effects on your sleep, which in turn affects how your body feels throughout the day. Though anxious thoughts may arise, your body and mind will be better equipped to deal with them, given proper rest. Anxiety affects millions of people every year, often feeling isolated and alone. Don’t suffer in silence! There is help available. Click here to start the journey to overcome anxiety.

Despite taboos of the past, nearly 42 million Americans have sought help from mental health professionals, as of 2020. Therapy has become part of the solution for millions, and it could be the first step toward a happier, healthy life. So whether you feel you need proper psychological counseling or just want to talk to a professional, here are 5 signs it might be time for therapy. You Feel Addicted to “X” Many of us have habits that help us get through the day, like exercising in the mornings, making a certain type of lunch everyday, or doing yoga in the evenings. It’s perfectly healthy to rely on rituals like these in difficult times, but if relying on a particular substance, like a food or a drug, or something less traditionally considered addictive, like sex or social media Addiction can manifest in all sorts of different ways, but if you feel compulsively drawn to a habit you know is not sustainable, you are likely experiencing addiction. The bottom line is that addiction, however mild, is a symptom of a deeper problem. Going to therapy can help address those deeper issues before an addiction becomes debilitating. You Want to Process a Trauma Maybe a major life event happened in the past year, like the passing of a loved one, that you feel hasn’t fully sunk in. Perhaps you’ve endured the effects of a traumatic event from long ago, which you still haven’t entirely processed. Therapy can be the way to completely untangle those complicated events and move forward without feeling dragged down by the past. You’re Having Trouble Focusing (More Than Normal) There’s no doubt our collective attention span has diminished due to social media. Darting around from task to task without finishing anything, however, can be a sign that you’re not just distracted. If your ability to focus has become so impaired that you’re having trouble simply beginning tasks, because you know you’ll be distracted, this can seriously affect your well being. Don’t wait until your work and home life are in disrepair! Therapy can help you work through your focus issues to get back on track. Your Emotions Feel Overwhelming Having strong emotional experiences are often scary and unpredictable for anyone. But lately if you feel like you’re too emotional over small things, or that your emotions may overwhelm you in a given situation, there is help to be found. Therapy is a great option for people dealing with emotional overload. Together, you and a therapist can get to the bottom of the issues and develop ways to manage your feelings in ways that work for you. You’re Not Experiencing Joy From Things You Used to Derive Joy From Anhedonia is the medical term for this very phenomenon, and it’s often considered a symptom of depression. “Depression” is a scary word that you might feel is reserved for people with “serious” mental illness, but the truth is that we can all experience symptoms of depression for various reasons. Therapy can be useful to provide a spark back into your everyday life. If you see yourself in any of these, it’s OK! Millions of other people feel the same way you do, and more and more each day are seeking professional help -- in person, online, or over the phone. So if you feel ready to take the first step on a new path, contact us here today.

This blog was created by therapist, Coryn Murphy. To ask questions or schedule an appointment, feel free to reach out here. Greetings! I assume you are here to learn a little bit more about meditation. Meditation is quite the buzzword and has many fantastic benefits attributed to it. Still, at the same time, many people say they can't do it! I began meditating in 2007. I actually got serious and started practicing somewhat daily around 2012. I have studied meditation in China and Hong Kong, including vipassana, Burmese style, Shambala, MBSR, metta (loving-kindness), chanting, breath, and body awareness. I am currently enhancing my studies with the Nalanda Institute. Meditation is an ancient practice in which a person will have focused attention sometimes on the breath or the body. But there are also a lot of myths about meditation. Myths about meditation Myth 1: Meditation is about clearing your mind It's impossible to clear your mind. Your mind is not supposed to be clear! The brain stays active and alert to keep us safe. The brain stays active even as we sleep and dream. If your mind was clear, you would be dead. Myth 2: You need to sit still There are many different ways for a person to meditate. Meditation is a practice to help bring the mind back to a focal point, but that doesn't mean that the body has to be still. In fact, there are many kinds of meditation, walking, sitting, standing, lying down, focusing on the breath, breath awareness (concentration), focusing on body sensations or senses (body scan- vipassana- insight), focus on emotions (loving-kindness- metta), focus on thoughts (visualization). Other kinds of meditation are mantra meditation (TM), mindfulness (eating, present-moment attention), sound bath, yoga. You don't have to sit still for many of these. You can move actively like in yoga or lay down like with a body scan. Myth 3: You need to do it perfectly No one is perfect at meditation, but we are trying to help train the brain to return to the focus. Who wants to just sit still and focus on their breathing. We learn to meditate to help bring the mind back to the focal point, making it easier to focus on other tasks. Myth 4: You can fail at mediation This was my first feeling of meditation… I can't do it. I can't focus on my breath. What is wrong with me? And so on. The whole point of meditating is to bring your mind back to the focus, whatever that may be. When you lose focus, that is fine, but when you realize that you have been thinking about your favorite song for five minutes, that is actually the best time. This is the moment that you recognize that your mind has wandered. This is the time you are winning. What are you trying to do when meditating? The entire point of meditation practice is coming back to the focal point. The best part of meditation is when you return to the focus. Many people can get discouraged that you can't even hold on for a couple of seconds. This is absolutely normal. When you are able to bring the mind back, you can celebrate. Returning to this point is victory~ CELEBRATE THAT VICTORY! Personally, I do a lot of self-compassion meditation because of the judgments that arise when I am meditating and in my everyday life. I am also a therapist, and I often talk to my clients about cognitive reframing or thought-stopping techniques in my work. These are common within a therapeutic practice, but I connect meditation with therapy. I often tell my clients that their mind is not in control. We all have these reactive thoughts, but recognizing the thoughts as reactive and focusing on what is real can be very helpful. This is the same as the practice of meditation. Acknowledging that you are distracted and bringing the mind back to that focal point is the same as recognizing these thoughts and redirecting them to something else. I am not saying this is an easy task, but meditation helps to reorient the mind to do this more easily. Why is meditation so popular? There have been multiple studies that have shown meditation has visceral effects on the brain. Some of these include more grey matter in the hippocampus and less in the amygdala, which has to do with stress. The amygdala is the emotion part of the brain, mainly the fear center, so the brain can lower activity in the fear center while increasing activity in the hippocampus. The hippocampus focuses on learning and memory. This means a person can remember and choose their actions instead of reacting with fear. There has been a lot of research done; some are more reliable than others. Meditation has been shown to be somewhat helpful with fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome(IBS), psoriasis, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. But some of those studies have been questioned because they had small sample sizes or problematic experimental designs. The good news is that several conditions, including depression, chronic pain, and anxiety, have shown promising results from well-run and well-designed studies that show increased benefits with meditation. Here are a few links that you may want to check out: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/ https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation-in-depth https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/harvard-researchers-study-how-mindfulness-may-change-the-brain-in-depressed-patients/ Meditation is all about the journey. Your thoughts will come and go, but it is about the practice. Even a few minutes each day can create more concentration and result in your life. Curious about meditation? If you're interested, feel free to reach out to me with any questions or schedule an appointment. I also offer workshops and groups to learn meditation. Email: coryn@atlantatherapeuticcollective.com

As our collective consciousness grows, we have seen an incredible uptick in people utilizing mental health resources, including therapy. Yet, we also realize that there is still a large gap of misinformation and misunderstanding about therapy. There are a variety of reasons as to why therapy may be helpful for you. If you’re reading this, then it’s likely that you are already curious if you may benefit from seeking therapy. People utilize therapy for a multitude of reasons. Some reasons someone may seek therapy include: Experiencing loss of any sort A prolonged sense of overwhelm Mental health struggles such as anxiety or depression Coping with other illnesses, substance abuse or prolonged habits Feelings of debilitation This list is a short summarization of potential needs a therapist can help support you through. There are many other reasons as to why someone may decide to go to therapy. Okay, but how does therapy really work anyway? How do you even describe what therapy is? How do I know I need therapy? These are all valid and great questions, and we are here to help answer them for you! Let’s get started. What exactly is therapy? Psychotherapy–therapy of –is the term used to describe the process of using psychological methods to help anyone who may need ongoing support. With regular therapeutic sessions, we are able to provide specific support that ultimately helps the individual/couple/group, increase happiness, change behaviors or overcome problems. A psychologist or a therapist is someone who is a certified professional trained to help you. By using scientifically backed techniques, a therapist can guide you towards effective tools that will help you develop healthier habits. Some of these techniques include CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), interpersonal therapy, or other types of talk therapy. Therapy is a collaborative relationship between the professional and those who are seeking their guidance. Remember that a therapist is there to provide a supportive environment. One of the best benefits of therapy is having a space that is objective, nonjudgmental, and neutral. Working with a therapist gives you the opportunity to recognize the patterns in your life that need to change in order to improve your life, however that may look for you. Not only will you gain clarity and awareness, but working with a therapist will also strengthen your resilience. You will gain new skills and benefit from developing sustainable coping skills and habits which will increase your overall state of wellbeing. When is it time to consider therapy? As we mentioned before, there are many reasons it may benefit you to consider therapy. However, we understand how intimidating it can feel to take this next step in seeking help through therapy. There are still many misconceptions about therapy and how therapy works. The truth is that everyone can benefit from therapy. Think of how we care for our physical body. We take care of our basic needs every day. Sometimes our bodies get sick, and we simply just need rest. Other times, we need a doctor to help us. We also do preventative care for our bodies. This may be through lifestyle habits such as how we eat or exercise. We even try to go to the doctor once a year, just to make sure there’s not something wrong in our bodies that we can’t see or may not know about yet. Therapy can be preventative care and can also help you to uncover things that may be affecting you without you potentially even knowing about it. Our minds need check-ins, too! Most importantly, if you find any habits may be causing harm to yourself or others, in any capacity, it is worth considering how working with a therapist can help to step away from harmful behaviors. Taking the step towards receiving help and support is a kindness to yourself and others in your life. When we include the support of a mental health professional in our lives, all areas of our lives have the potential to be impacted for the better. What happens once I decide I want to seek therapy? First, yay! Congrats! What an exciting moment! In the midst of potential overwhelm of next steps, we encourage you to celebrate taking care of you by choosing to seek therapy. Luckily, we’ve broken down how to choose the right therapist. One thing you may want to consider is deciding if you want a specific type of therapeutic method. Each therapist has a unique way of integrating talk therapy and scientifically backed methods of psychotherapy. Most therapists are happy to provide a free phone call or e-mail exchange before meeting in hopes of ensuring a right fit prior to any monetary expenses. If you’re insured, some therapists work with insurance companies. Your insurance company will likely have a list of some therapists who are in the network. You can also ask individual therapists or offices if they take/accept insurance. Some therapists won’t work directly with insurance companies but can provide superbills for reimbursement, should you decide to prefer that. It is also possible to find therapists who offer sliding scale pay based on financial needs. Once you’ve found a potential therapist, you’ll schedule your first session. In your first few sessions, you’ll likely discuss how you’d like to move forward. This will include potential plans for therapeutic needs, as well as practicalities such as scheduling and planning. Remember, it is important to feel a trustworthy connection with your potential therapist as this is an intimate relationship. This is someone you will want to feel a sense of confidence and safety with. Therapy is vulnerable. Working with a therapist you feel comfortable with helps bridge the space between that vulnerability, processing the information, and working towards whatever you may need. Still have questions as to how therapy works? Please don’t hesitate to contact us for any help you may need. We would be honored to assist you along your journey to wellness.

It’s safe to say that the way younger generations view marriage continues to drastically shift. What once used to be mostly necessary, expected, and the status quo, marriage is now seen as an autonomous choice; it’s become as much of a logical decision as it is an emotional one. So if the world is changing how we view marriage, why would we still benefit from something like premarital therapy? We get it! It somehow seems...old-fashioned? Hear us out for a sec. Here are some top benefits of premarital therapy. You and your partner will gain communication skills. Working with a therapist will give you a neutral party present while you talk with one another. The way each of us communicates is deeply personal, and sometimes our unique ways of hearing and speaking differ too much. A therapist has the training and experience to help bridge any potential communication issues you may have or face in your relationship. Not only do you inevitably gain better communication skills, but you also gain compassion and better understanding of your partner. Increasing your compassion and understanding of one another will help deepen your bond and help you feel more empowered to face whatever lies ahead. You can have a space to talk about expectations. It’s easy to make assumptions about what the other wants and/or expects. Perhaps you even have some routines that work for your relationship. Sometimes our expectations shift as our relationships shift. Allowing therapy to be the space you touch base about what each other’s expectations are and what you hope for your futures can be incredibly beneficial for your relationship. A therapist is there to help advocate for the health of your relationship. We all have opinions as to how to handle the bigger things in a marriage (finances, family planning and growing, romance, etc.). Most therapists will have questions prepared for you and your partner, so that you can answer these questions separately. This gives you the ability to see what values and opinions overlap, and which you may disagree with. From here, a therapist can steer you and your partner towards compromise. You’ll better understand each other’s differences. By now, you can likely list many of your partner’s little quirks--we all have them! Understanding that there are likely “why’s” behind your partner’s quirks can deepen relational safety between you and your partner. As relational safety and communication deepens, then the intimacy between the two of you is nurtured. Even if you are used to living together, it’s so easy to not emotionally connect as much as we think we may be--especially during wedding planning! Premarital therapy is a space for you and your partner to build deeper relational equity. Remember that going to therapy does not have to mean that something is wrong or needs to be fixed. It’s the time to do a check-in with a professional who knows how to help you best. So, while it may seem a little traditional to seek premarital counseling, we hope you’ll reconsider the benefits! Ready to try premarital counseling? Be sure to contact the Atlanta Therapeutic Collective and schedule your first appointment. We look forward to hearing from you!

You’ve decided to go to therapy. Now what? Choosing a therapist may initially feel like a daunting task, but don’t fret! We’ve gathered some helpful first steps that will help you feel less overwhelmed and more secure in your decision-making process. Here are a few things to consider when you begin your search for a therapist. Try and figure out what your needs are The first step is to consider your reasons for deciding to go to therapy. Knowing what type of support you need can help highlight which therapists to seek out. Most therapists have fields of focus, and depending on what your needs are, this is an easy way of narrowing your search. What if I don’t have an exact reason beyond general support? Whether you need general support, or you have specified needs, consider what you know are your non-negotiables. What do you value in your intimate relationships? Whatever your non-negotiables may be, and for whatever reason, you’ll want a therapist who aligns with your values. Finding a therapist whom you trust and feel safe with is one of the most important parts of your therapeutic journey. This ensures that you will feel comfortable opening up and sharing vulnerable and private information. Decide what is financially doable for you There are many factors that go into the cost of therapy. When finding a therapist, you’ll want to be sure to know what their rates are before your first meeting. Some therapists may offer this information on their websites, but this isn’t always the case. Most therapists will happily discuss pricing via email or phone. If you have insurance, it may be in your best interest to see which therapists are in your network. Not all therapists work with insurance. Some may offer other solutions such as superbills, which you pay upfront. From there, you can be reimbursed through your insurance providers. Other therapists offer sliding scale spots or lower rates that consider your personal needs. When deciding which therapists best fit your financial needs, it may be worth examining how often you foresee yourself going to therapy per month. Knowing what works best for you empowers you with clearer tools of communication for your potential therapist. Pre-determining what is most affordable for you will reveal which therapists can accommodate your monetary prerequisites. Ways to begin your search If you haven’t already started actively searching for your therapist, now is the time to start! By now, you should have a strong idea of the type of therapist that would support you best. While searching for therapists in your area on Google can be a good place to start, it isn’t your only option. Here’s some ways you can search for a therapist: -Ask for recommendations on social media. Take advantage of your digitally connected world by asking those on your friend lists! -Try neighborhood groups/apps such as Nextdoor. This broadens the search while remaining close to your area. -Some organizations, such as schools and churches, will either have licensed counselors on staff, or may provide resources for you to connect to a therapist. -Ask friends, family members, anybody you feel comfortable asking. No matter how you search, remember that therapy is great for everyone and not something to be ashamed of. You found a therapist--now what? Congratulations! You found a therapist, and you’re getting ready for your first session. First appointments can feel a little nerve wracking, almost like a first date. Keep in mind that your first meeting is simply that. You are meeting one another and seeing if you are a good fit for each other. It’s okay to meet a therapist and not book another session. Like any other relationship, sometimes we have different needs, or the anticipated connection just isn’t there, and that’s okay! Finding the right therapist can take time. While it may feel discouraging in the moment, you do have some avenues to move forward. Don’t be afraid to talk to the therapist, yes the one you won’t see again, and see if they have recommendations. Therapists are here to help you, even if that means helping you find the right therapist. Perhaps you have some other meetings scheduled, or you have a list of other therapists to consider. Stay encouraged and remember that the right fit is out there for you. It is possible to click right away and know the therapist you have found is the right connection for you. Still having trouble? Having tangible steps can make the biggest of tasks feel more manageable. However, we understand that sometimes, the tasks can still feel daunting. Whether finding a therapist feels too overwhelming, or you just feel stuck in your journey, don’t hesitate to contact us. We’d be happy to lend our support and to help find the right therapist for you.

Anxiety can happen to anyone. Even if you have never struggled with anxious thoughts before, new surroundings, a stressful situation, or seemingly nothing at all can bring on a sudden bout of anxiety. While anxiety is normal, it is certainly unpleasant. To help ease anxiety symptoms, one of our new therapists, Jessica Sullivan, has suggestested a few things anyone can do to feel a little better. What is Anxiety? Before we discuss how to ease anxiety, it’s important to know what anxiety is. Anxiety is defined as “intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.” However, the worries brought on by anxiety don’t have to be linked to things going on in your life. Oftentimes, people find themselves anxious about things that are not actively happening, things completely out of their control, or seemingly nothing. Whether you can place the cause of your anxiety or not, the feelings are real and valid. 3 Ways to Ease Anxiety 1. Stay Hydrated Making sure your body is hydrated may sound strange when it comes to relieving anxious thoughts, but ensuring your body is taken care of can go a long way. Jessica suggests drinking half your weight in ounces of water. For example, if a person weighs 100 pounds, drinking 50 ounces of water per day, plus an additional 8 ounces of water per every hour of exercise, can help relieve anxiety symptoms and keep you hydrated. 2. Do Some Diaphragm Breathing Taking some long, smooth breaths from your diaphragm can go a long way. When a person becomes anxious, breathing can speed up and become strained, which only makes the anxiety worse. By spending some time taking long, intentional breaths from your diaphragm, you can ease your mind and anxiety. Jessica recommends diaphragm breathing for 2-5 minutes twice a day. 3. Practice Good Sleep Hygiene Sleep is important for everyone’s health, including their mental health. Sleep gives your body time to heal and your brain time to process and regulate. While sleep needs are different for everyone, Jessica suggests around 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night for optimal benefits. Bonus Tip: Consider Mental Health Counseling Anxiety is normal, but that doesn’t mean you have to live with it your entire life. Working with a mental health counselor can help you process your anxiety and learn helpful tools for coping with anxious and stressful situations. For help in the Atlanta area, be sure to contact Jessica Sullivan to learn more about how therapy could help you. About Jessica Sullivan Jessica is passionate about working with marginalized populations and affirms all genders, relationships, and identities. She also offers letter writing services for gender affirming services. She utilizes body based approaches and may encourage light movement or body exercises. Even though my foundational approach is somatic, she draws on many theories and modalities. Her previous experience includes working with individuals with disabilities in state vocational agencies. She plans to offer pilates classes and services in Spanish in the near future.

Editor's Note: This blog was originally published in July 2021, but was updated in February 2022 to include information about a Brief Assessment Session for new, out-of-network clients. Going to therapy for the first time can be intimidating. What should I say? What are they going to ask? Are they going to judge me? Being nervous before your first session is normal, but you shouldn’t let it stop you from trying therapy at all. To help you prepare, here are a few things you can expect from your first therapy session. But first, What to expect before your first therapy session Due to new guidelines, as of January 2022, you may experience a brief assessment session before your first meeting with your therapist. This session will be with an intake therapist and will last around 25-30 minutes. In this session, you will learn more about the practice, have a chance to ask any questions you have, and discuss your reasons for wanting to start therapy along with your goals for therapy. This will give the practice a chance to get to know you better and connect you to a therapist who will be a good fit for you. At Atlanta Therapeutic Collective, this intake session costs $70. You are not required to schedule a session with a therapist after this appointment. However, if you choose to, you have 30 days to do so. After 30 days, you will be required to do another intake to update any changes. What to expect from your first therapy session Your first therapy session is all about you and your therapist getting to know each other. It’s a time to share your story with your therapist, get comfortable, and even set some goals for your time together. To get things started, your therapist might ask you some questions like the following: What brings you in today? Why did you decide to try therapy? What have you been struggling with lately? What do you feel is going wrong in your life? They might also ask you questions about your family, living situation, current job, and even your childhood. This is all to help them get a better understanding of who you are and how they can help. What should I say in therapy? There is no “right” thing to say when starting therapy. However, being as open, honest, and vulnerable as possible can help your therapist understand where you are coming from and how to better help you. It can be challenging to open up to a stranger about very personal issues, but remember, your therapist is a trained professional who is here to help. You wouldn’t withhold information from your doctor if you thought something was going wrong, and the same should go for your therapist. Try your best to tell them what is really going on and what made you decide to see a therapist in the first place. Even if it is hard, it will pay off in the long run. What questions should I ask my therapist? In short, you should ask your therapist anything that will help you feel more comfortable. You may want to know how long sessions typically last, how often they would like to see you, or how long they anticipate treatment lasting. You could also ask if they think they are a good fit for you after explaining why you have decided to try therapy. You can also ask about resources that might be available to you outside of therapy. Depending on what you have come to therapy for, they might recommend specific books, support groups, or other resources to help you between sessions. Therapy doesn’t have to be scary Starting therapy can be intimidating when you don’t know what to expect. However, taking that first step and showing up for your first appointment can be life-changing. If you have more questions about therapy or would like to schedule your first appointment, be sure to reach out to us. We are happy to answer your questions or help you find a therapist who is right for you.